We're almost 30 episodes in, and tonight was HANDS DOWN the worst night for fellow misophonia sufferers. Just when we thought we were cultivating immunity over time or at least pouncing on the mute button quicker, we were subjected to a ridiculous onslaught of smoochy smooches. Tyler and Clarisse. Toby and Mary. Liam and Lillie. The worst of which was the latter... Not only was Lillie bringing a nauseating suckerfish impression, she also appeared to be sporting Millie's precious Sagittarius necklace as a bracelet.

To tonight's main event; did Dale or Sam succeed in pursuing Faye now that producers have led her to think Teddy's been unfaithful?! Is Liam bringing Lillie back to the main Villa after their overly audible kiss tonight? Will Liberty find out what a self-serving, duplicitous catalyst Jake is?! Partially shrouded by the Ogle's mossie netting, Liam and Lillie thought they were shielded from prying eyes, but Jake - as ever - was close by to survey the situation. You know, just to make sure his easily led minions are sabotaging themselves sufficiently.

Faye chooses Sam, and Dale swerves Chloe

In case you're finding it tricky keeping up with all the additional bodies in there; Sam is one of the generic-looking fratboys... OK, he's the Lancashire engineer who was grinning, like no one was watching, over the shoulder of the girls while they were staring aghast at the Casa Amor postcard. There you go. Well, he's managed to wangle his way into (technically) Faye's bed. Elsewhere, her brown lipliner security blanket has clearly had an effect on chain enthusiast Dale, who informed Chloe, in so uncertain terms, that he was interested in getting to know Faye in the wake of Teddy's inferred infidelity.

As you can imagine, Chloe was not best pleased, with her saying "Honestly, who goes on Love Island only to end up on Friend Island, is a single girl in Casa Amor, and then gets f***in' pied?!" Karma works in mysterious ways, Chloe. It wasn't all lost, however. Dale realised Faye was getting on with Sam, so he scuttled back to Chloe to ensure he had his spot in the main Villa.

In other news...

Just when viewers thought Jake was FINALLY going to mention missing his official "girlfriend", he instead banged on about how she should be grateful that he spent three nights on the daybed. Then he confirmed he was missing "school". Again, he said he was missing school.

It's official: Hugo is the only boy who can read properly

That's the only logical explanation behind the fact that NO ONE else gets sent revelatory texts?! For example, tonight Hugo had to reveal that "there will be a recoupling in which you must decide whether you want to remain coupled up with your partner back in the villa or recouple with one of the new girls. #dontcountthedaysmakethedayscount". Later, Whitmore swooped in as the Islanders gathered at the fire pit.

Pleasantries dispensed, Laura asked Chloe to kick things off. She confirmed she didn't want to recouple with Hugo, instead giving Dale's chains a whirl. And Hugo walked in with the only Brunette to grace the series, Amy. When asked how he felt about his new union, Hugo gibbered on about "feelings" and "sparks", while Amy referred to it in rather more muted terms. "Pleasantly unexpected", I believe it was.

Then, it was Abi's turn...

When Laura subsequently asked Mary how she felt about joining the Villa, she said: "I'm happy to be here with Tobes, but it's s*** for the girl." Indeed it is. And that was all we got to see of proceedings. They do love dragging things out.

Tweet of the night...

Key takeaway...

Love Island returns tomorrow at 9pm on Virgin Media One and Virgin Media Player