Wings of wisdom 

CHENNAI:  I was 11 when I got my first period. Fortunately, my mother had already initiated a conversation about it. She had told me that a woman bleeding every month was natural and walked me through the bodily need. So when it happened, I didn’t panic. I was home with my elder brother and grandmother, and I chose to break the news to the former. He was calm, handed me a pack of newspaper-wrapped sanitary pads that my mother had kept in her cupboard and eased the situation.

Growing up, I also witnessed my father buy my mother her monthly pack of sanitary pads from the supermarket. It seemed like the norm. But a few years later, when I transitioned into college, I met women from different walks of life, who shared horror stories — of fathers and brothers who weren’t willing to buy them sanitary pads, even during an emergency; boyfriends who would mock at their mood swings, and classmates who would pull out the sanitary napkins in front of the entire class as an act of ‘fun’. When I heard these narratives, I only wished that people were more aware of menstruation, empathetic of those who experienced it and not marginalise the topic. 

Cut to present, I am in conversation with journalist-author Sonali Shenoy, about her latest children’s book, What’s the Big Secret?: Why you need to know…period. I am excited. I tell her that it’s been ages since I read a children’s book and that I’ve never read one on menstruation. I am thrilled when I see the illustration of a giant sanitary pad hovering over the protagonist on the book’s cover. ‘The wings finally have wings’, I think, and am immediately washed over with the hope of a better future. In our hour-long conversation, curiosity becomes a dominant feeling and an important point of discussion — one that drives Sonali’s narrative home. “I was a curious child (still am!) and used to asked a lot of questions. The intrinsic curiosity is a reason why I love working as a journalist. And even in the story, that’s what I was going for. Someone who is curious and wants to find out more,” she explains.

Impactful narrative 
The 14-page book, via a succinct yet impactful narrative, and engaging illustrations by Annushka Hardika, takes on an important topic and explores its nuances from the perspective of a boy. “As a journalist, a storyteller, I enjoy fresh perspectives. To me, telling a story on menstruation from a boy’s point of view is quite exciting,” she shares.

The story revolves around 11-year-old Aditya, who is on a mission to find out more about what’s inside the brown paper packages that his didi (elder sister) Rhea has suddenly been buying every month. One thing leads to another and Aditya turns into a trove of questions. ‘What is a period’, ‘What is a pad?’ As he goes around his house and his school asking its dwellers the questions, people’s avoidance leaves him disappointed and left out. As things get curiouser and curiouser, he finally finds a liberator. And it is in his mind’s liberation that he finds answers — one that would realign his present and perhaps shape his future.

Fragmented memories 
Sonali’s book, much like her previous work, The Dog that Taught me Math, treads a similar trope — of tapping on fragments of her memories, childhood and people who were part of it, and weaving a story laced with innocent wonder and subtle humour. “What is relatable to you, might not be relatable to someone else. If you try and craft to match someone else’s, it might feel contrived. While I was crafting the story, I didn’t feel everyone needed to like the work. It had a simple intention — to initiate conversations about menstruation among children. Because of the intention, automatically, the language became simpler and I didn’t have to use complicated words, references or metaphors,” she details.

Her stories are a combination of personal experiences and sentiments. She gives us a peek into her rather intimate creative process. “In the case of this book, a boy from my class in school asked a couple of us girls what a pad is used for. We were 12. That’s where the idea came from. The sentiment of the story stems from my experiences. The protagonist, much like me, is asking questions to his family and when he doesn’t get an answer, he feels like he doesn’t belong. Being in a concrete family unit — with an older sister, mom, dad and grandmother — he suddenly senses that there’s a secret and feels left out. From being curious to feeling left out — these sentiments are very personal and have been a struggle for me too. So, that was the parallel sentiment,” opens up the writer, who is a journalist with The New 
Indian Express. 

A curated process
The language, the visuals and the setting of the story are simple and relatable. The colour palette while being vibrant and pleasant, ensures it doesn’t distract the reader from the narrative. “I didn’t want it to be graphic or sound like a Biology textbook or overwhelm the child. So it was a task, to ensure that the discussion is not vague but at the same time not too graphic or off-putting for a child. This was one of the reasons why I was specific about not using the colour red. I requested my publisher to ensure there were no jarring imageries too. Since this book is for a young age group, some readers might not have even hit adolescence yet. The focus here was on drawing people into the topic and giving an outlook of sensitivity and inclusivity. If it’s your first impression and off-putting, that stays with you for a long time and has to be undone. I believe in knowing and learning in stages and I think if that’s a curated process, you are going to have a better experience, overall,” shares Sonali.

Besides being a conversation starter about menstruation for children, parents and educators alike, the book, through subtle cues, draws emphasis on encouraging and validating the questions of a child. In this setting, what French moralist Joseph Joubert said, ‘Children need models rather than critics’, makes all the more sense. “Growing up, I found that for myself. If I am shamed for asking a question, I go in the opposite direction and will be put off by it. In this narrative, people avoided him out of awkwardness, but no one told him he was wrong, bad or dumb. There was no negativity. He feels disappointed over the reluctance but not shamed in any way. He is a child who has the right to have questions. The focus is on finding interesting ways to tell the answers,” she explains.  

Inclusive worldviews 
A few weeks back, when a 11-year-old boy from Hyderabad, had posted a review video of Sonali’s book, he held a sanitary pad in his hand and didn’t seem inhibited by it. “That was wonderful to see and it was such a contrast to someone I recently met, an adult, who wasn’t comfortable with the idea of having a conversation about a pad. So, that is what I am most excited about — kids who will read this are sensitised and become empowered adults. As a woman, menstruation is naturally a big part of you. If a family member, best friend or husband doesn’t understand it, you feel isolated. So, inclusivity is a big thing. In line with it, educating boys on the topic, who will go on to become men, is important,” she emphasises.

With such conversations now starting to trickle into mainstream children’s literature, sparking a long journey of adventure, new beginnings and understanding changes, we can only hope that the future is more inclusive. Or as Sonali pens in her preface, ‘To change, to questions, to growing up’. Cheers to that!

The book, published by Puffin Books, is available on Amazon.in

The impact
A few weeks ago, a 11-year-old boy from Hyderabad, posted a review video of Sonali’s book, holding a sanitary pad and didn’t seem inhibited.