The Amazon founder kind of, sort of blasted into space with his private rocket company, Blue Origin, on Tuesday.
He was joined by his brother Mark, aerospace pioneer Wally Funk and 18-year-old Oliver Daemen — but most jokes on Twitter were reserved for the billionaire.
Get sucked into a black hole of hilarity below:
hard to imagine a better divorce outcome than getting 50 billion dollars and then your ex literally leaves the planet
— muscle skoals (@MuscleSkoals) July 19, 2021
when your ex needs to go to space about it, you won the divorce
— mothman festival queen (@amyis_trying) July 20, 2021
jeff bezos didn’t even go to space! he just got super high which nobody congratulates me for??
— Lauren Chanel (@MichelleHux) July 20, 2021
In general, good journalistic practice is to be clinical and wordy.
INCORRECT: “Jeff Bezos took off in a dong-rocket.”
CORRECT: “…rocket that was much like a piece of male genitalia in appearance, and to be specific, not the testicles; we’re talking about the penis here.”
— Danielle Kurtzleben (@titonka) July 20, 2021
At least billionaire Jeff Bezos designed his spacecraft to look like a dick to let aliens know there was one on board.
— Angela Belcamino (@AngelaBelcamino) July 20, 2021
Quick! Everyone in the warehouse use the bathroom!
— Mike Scollins (@mikescollins) July 20, 2021
Where does Jeff Bezos get all this money to go to space? That rich son of a bitch. I’m disgusted. I hate him. Also my Amazon package is late for the fourth time this week. I’m so mad.
— Matt Walsh (@MattWalshBlog) July 20, 2021
Jeff Bezos was in space for 5 minutes—or as its known at the Amazon warehouse, your allotted break time for a 16-hour day
— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) July 20, 2021
Today’s space flight was 11 minutes longer than an Amazon employee bathroom break.
— Riley Silverman (@rileyjsilverman) July 20, 2021
sure flying to space is cool but have you ever tried paying income tax
— Liz Plank (@feministabulous) July 20, 2021
he really said he was gonna go all the way into space and then did just the tip……. who does that
— Sydney Battle (@SydneyBattle) July 20, 2021
Jeff does your rocket even have sharks with frickin laser beams attached to their heads I mean honestly throw me a bone here pic.twitter.com/CePHbgSCOw
— Kelly Bachman (@bellykachman) July 20, 2021
Anyone hating on Bezos must not have a spaceship.
— Tim Dillon (@TimJDillon) July 20, 2021