Over the course of this pandemic, we’ve switched from half-joking handshakes with elbow bumps to full-blown lockdown to this weird limbo where some are vaccinated, others aren’t and all we want is a sense of normalcy. The events are back, but they’re not like they used to be. A vaccination card is just as important now as a government ID and you may only get a custom face mask as a party gift. The pandemic has shaken the old rules of etiquette, leaving behind “pandemiquette,” as lifestyle and etiquette expert Elaine Swann puts it.

“Etiquette really means reassuring others. We practice etiquette using the three core values ​​that I like to call the three core values: respect, honesty, and consideration. Etiquette is important because how we act in the world can affect our interaction determine and are treated by others, “says Swann. “This darn pandemic has really taken on a life of its own.”

In the latest episode of The Well + Good podcast, Well + Good Director of Creative Development Ella Dove speaks with Swann, founder of the Swann School of Protocol, and Lauren Gus, executive vice president of leadership at entertainment company Superfly. They discuss how to deal with the ever-evolving pandemic etiquette while also honoring what makes you feel good without offending others. As much as wearing a mask and keeping your distance have to do with health, etiquette is also important.

When it comes to large events, it is imperative to do your research beforehand. Gus says to check the venue website or social media for the rules.

“The difficult thing right now is that there is neither a national expectation nor a national mandate for how these are carried out,” says Gus. “And even within the same city, that changes all the time. I think it’s really important that you as a participant check in, read all of these materials and understand what is expected.”

Listen to the episode on Apple and Spotify:

It gets darker when it comes to smaller events in the circle of loved ones. For example, is it rude to ask your party guests to show a vaccination card? Not really, says Swann.

“As a host, you always want to be able to take care of your guests, and you want to take care of the guests as a whole, the vaccinated and the not,” says Swann. First and foremost, it’s appropriate because this is our new world we live in. One of the things you can do is share that information on the actual invitation itself. So when you send out the invitation, you are sharing people your intention is with. When you say, ‘I just want people who are fully vaccinated because of the way we interact with each other while we are there.’ “

If you limit your social interactions to people who have been vaccinated, or if you are unvaccinated and unable to go to an event because of it, it is inevitable that feelings will be hurt, says Swann. But those who lead with respect and open communication can overcome initial inconveniences. And once we’re on the other side, our social interactions can be better for it.

“We’ve been through a lot we have seen a lot and experienced a lot, ”says Swann. “I think that a little more empathy sticks with each other, which is so important when it comes to etiquette and how others can really feel comfortable and comfortable and so on. That piece of empathy, that emotional intelligence that we need to have, I believe that is going to have a lasting impact on people. “

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