Full disclosure: yours truly has been treble screening (again) thanks to the Euro final (THOSE PENALITIES!) while scarfing fish'n’chips and quaffing Chianti (balance, innit). Plus, let's face it – 10pm is a very late start. So, apologies in advance if this here review is a bit on the squiffy side. Personal issues with the term 'snog' In the spirit of Rachel, I'm just going to lay it all out from the offset; the term "snogging" can leave.

Perhaps it's because said term kept dripping from Millie's lips and the sheer prospect of her and Liam whispering proper 18-30s sweet nuffinks to each other under the covers after the recoupling is enough to set off the retch flex-flex-flex.

While Teddy was speed dating Kaz, Rachel, Sharron, and Faye, Liam was keen to make hay while his partner was otherwise engaged, stating: "Faye's not here" (unlike Chloe, Mille doesn't want to "disrespect" Faye by kissing Liam in front of her).

Responding, amidst a flurry of giggles, Millie said: "We can’t just snog now, I feel awkward, don’t you?"

Clearly, Liam didn't and was quick to put the lunge in, whereupon I lurched at the mute button.

Taking herself off the Beach Hut to spill, Mille said of the aural assault: "It was a good snog and I can’t wait to snog him some more." Great.

Millie, Liam, Chloe, and Toby enjoy a night outside
Luckily for us, we didn't have to wait for long given Liam and Mille, plus Chloe and Toby couldn't restrain themselves any longer, opting to flout the sleeping rules by taking to the Day Beds outside. All I have to say is, MINE EYES!

As for how it was for them? Toby merrily gibbered: "I feel like a kid who has been let out to play. I haven’t felt like this!" Cool.

Chloe, meanwhile, added: "I’ve never known a boy to get so excited!” So, that roughly translates as not only a #humblebrag but also that she could prefer to be throwing shapes in the new guy's direction.

Ready, steady, senior financial consultant Teddy
Having spent a large portion of last night correctly deploying bubbles with aplomb, pulling out chairs, fetching new glasses, proffering the questions – all while paying compliments to Kaz, negotiating Rachel's orgasm requests, inserting himself into Sharron's narrative, and playing an inadvertent game of footsie (this year's mood) with Faye – poor Teddy must have been exhausted.

The highlights and lowlights were prolific and ranged from Rachel laying it on thicker than a wedge of butter on a sannich en route to Croker…

... to Sharon completely nailing how easily emasculated Aaron is when it comes to a job spec.

After all that schmoozing, Teddy THEN had to spend the subsequent day probing his four ladies (and Lucinda, in tomorrow night's episode, much to Brad's chagrin) all while sporting nothing but swimwear. Poor lamb. Tough job.

As for who he seems to gravitate towards the most in a genuine/knows what way Twitter is leaning capacity? NOBODY knows. Then again, when it comes to recoupling everyone seems to be aiming for Lucinda so it's a case of who gets first dibs.

Yes, I'm aware that sounds crass, but this is Love Island after all. That its raison d'etre.

Recoupling Condensed
Yeah, as if we were going to see any of that tonight. Tune in tomorrow night to find out, etc.

Tweet of the night

Well, firstly he announced he got a text with "TEXTTEXTTEXT!" Before informing the "at-risk" females that he was taking appointments for the day. Class.

Key takeaway