Last night, instead of the usual Love Island cliffhanger, Iain Sterling's "tomorrow niiightaah" preview finally got Twitter a buzz.

Reactions ranged from "Why is the unemployed teacher crying?", to "WHO MADE MY HUGO CRY?!" In short, poor Hugo – once again – was too honest for his own good.

The name of tonight's Firepit Cringefest was a crude adaptation of All Star Mr & Mrs. From favourite sex position to turn-ons via dating history, plus who else in the villa their partner fancies, it was a "quick-fire quizzing with a difference" (ie it was stuff All Star Mr & Mrs couldn't air).

Behold:
• 36 is the oldest person "21-year-old" Liam has slept with.
• Liam would pursue women in relationships
• Aaron hates "hairy arms" and, it would seem, "fiery" women in general
• The second-best Islander is Chloe. She got a full house as the boys' second choice.
• And the people with the most cosmetic procedures are Faye (lips, boobs, botox), Sharon (same), plus Liberty (fillers), and Chloe (boobs). Now, that last question was important as it was clearly the producers setting Hugo up for a major tumble.

When asked what his particular turn-offs were, Hugo obliviously bleated: “Fake, yeah. Personality and looks.” Elaborating on his "perfect type", he drove the point home, adding: "Natural, leggy blonde. Not fake.”

Faye and Sharon particularly took umbrage – as Hugo bluntly broached the proverbial "elephant in the room".

While Faye said: "That word keeps getting thrown around, doesn’t it?”, Sharron admitted: "I think I was just annoyed as a mate, I respect him enough to say to him, 'what you’re saying is upsetting me'.”

Cosmetic procedures are a personal choice. Hugo – who "didn’t mean anything malicious" or "didn’t mean to upset anyone" – now finds himself among an increasing amount of people who must fine-tune or "educate themselves"/update their terminology.

Instead of "fake" or "natural", perhaps he should have used the term "void of enhancement". As for the general vibe on Twitter (according to my algorithm, anyway)...

So, to clarify, the entire bruhaha was about the wording surrounding cosmetic enhancements – not the fact that Aaron reckons women should be her indoors; or Jake and Toby leading their partners on a merry dance; or Brad's public announcements about dropping the kids off at the pool, or telling literally every girl that comes in that she's the one he's been waiting for. 

Despite all the aforementioned, what Hugo said was deemed more "ignorant as f*ck*.

Still, on the upside, it's a conversation starter, innit? People get work done for all sorts of reasons. Again, it's a personal choice and a serious one at that, such procedures aren't a walk in the park.

Girls who do brunch
... blatantly miss out on the two new girls entering the villa. While they were only thrilled to be getting festooned during the day in something other than a bikini, their "partners" were equally ecstatic at the prospect of not having those pesky females around, ruining their 1950s mindset. As for the newbies…

Lucinda Strafford is a 21-year-old online fashion boutique owner from Brighton, who used to be cabin crew. She fancies "hunk of human" labourer Brad and brickie Liam, so she certainly has a sort.

Key quote from her press pack: "I flew Dannii Minogue, Usain Bolt and Nick Grimshaw. They were all so fun. They were pressing the call button and specifically asking for me." On the upside, she likes all the girls, particularly Liberty, Faye, and Kaz.

Millie Court, meanwhile, is a 24-year-old fashion buyer admin from Essex. According to Twitter, she brings some "serious humanities teacher vibes with that hair cut".

As for who she fancies? Again, Brad and Liam, plus Toby – which isn't good news for Kaz.

Millie's best press pack quote includes: "I’m the worst competitive person as well because I’m a sulker if I don’t win. I get the hump if I'm losing."

As for which of the boys are into the two newbies? That would be all of them, because they’re BLONDES. So much for Toby "giving Kaz 100pc".

Tweet of the night

Key takeaway
Some men are evil. They aren't my words; I added the "some".