Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy.
Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
dropped 2yo’s hand for 2 sec during our walk, and she shouted MAMA YOU HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF ME, PEOPLE ARE VERY BIG
— priyanka mattoo (@naanking) June 20, 2021
My toddler, like many, calls every man she sees walking around a “dada”. Today she pointed at a man in target and said “dada”. The way this man freaked out 😭 “no no not possible”, he turns to his wife to say. The toddler def exposed him somehow
— Kaitlyn Greenidge (@surlybassey) June 19, 2021
My 11yo just screamed across the skatepark “MOM! DID YOU EVER GET OUR HEALTH INSURANCE REINSTATED? I WANNA DO A TRICK!”
— JennyPentland GED (@JennyPentland) June 20, 2021
Got the toddler a cute desk so he could draw, and instead he re-enacted life as a writer.
— Eric Smith (@ericsmithrocks) June 21, 2021
Scene 1: Despair.
Scene 2: Desperately trying to throw your desk out the door. pic.twitter.com/02qipePtWo
I asked my son what he wanted for his birthday and my daughter yelled MORE DEODORANT so now I have a favorite child.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) June 19, 2021
4 year old didn’t eat his dinner because I “called it dinner and not lunch!!”
— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) June 19, 2021
Took full advantage of Father's Day this year and slept in until 5:45AM.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) June 20, 2021
No one has more false hope than a Mom that brings three books on her beach vacation.
— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) June 21, 2021
Just met a 1 year old named Barbara. Didn’t know they were doing that!
— Rob Delaney (@robdelaney) June 20, 2021
"This pineapple doesn't taste like apple"
— A Bearer Of Dad News🇬🇾 (@HomeWithPeanut) June 18, 2021
-My 3-year-old, about to realize some people suck at naming things
It should be illegal for kids to change their favorite Disney character without giving you a 30 day notice
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) June 21, 2021
*male waiter brings my daughter ice cream*
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) June 24, 2021
my 6yo: *screaming* THANK YOU LADY QUEEN!!!
…we may have more work to do on our socialization skills
Where did we get the idea that boys talk less than girls? Because it certainly wasn't from an 8yo boy with a Pokemon obsession.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) June 22, 2021
My kids are old enough to stay home by themselves, so most of my day is spent refreshing Google Earth to see if my house is on fire.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) June 22, 2021
Asked 4 how pre school was and she said they played Simon Says and every time a kid got it wrong they cried until all the children were crying so she yelled “Simon Says stop crying!” and all the children stopped crying. Now she’s drunk on Simon Says power and I fear for my life
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) June 22, 2021
“It’s okay if you’re not getting everything right at first, Buddy. Part of getting better is doing badly at first.” I said, because I’m great at giving people advice I forget to follow myself.
— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) June 22, 2021
9-year-old: My dress has pockets.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 22, 2021
Me: Okay.
9: Nothing can stop me.
My daughter once summarized a 10 minute story in 4 hours.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) June 24, 2021
my five year old asked for a banana so I gave her a banana but it was a banana and not an apple and now all hell has broken loose send help
— That Mom Tho 🏳️🌈 (@mom_tho) June 24, 2021
Wrapped up a family meeting to discuss summer chores and 9 mutters, “this could have been e-mailed” so my wife and I have decided she’s ready for middle-management.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) June 24, 2021
