Britney Spears apologizes to fans for 'pretending I've been OK' saying she was 'embarrassed to share' her trauma as she jets off with beau Sam Asghari following shocking conservatorship testimony

  • Spears spoke to judge Brenda Penny via telephone on Wednesday, revealing the severity of her health and well-being under the court-ordered conservatorship
  • 'I've lied and told the whole world I'm OK and I'm happy. It's a lie,' Spears told the court. 'I've been in denial. I've been in shock. I am traumatized' 
  • The 39-year-old has been under the conservatorship for 13 years, with dad Jamie at the helm of her $60million fortune
  • She told the judge that she wants the 'conservatorship to end' and that she believes it is 'abusive'

Britney Spears is apologizing for 'pretending like I've been ok the past two years' on social media in wake of her recent bombshell testimony, where she admitted to being 'traumatized' by the conditions of her ongoing conservatorship.

'I did it because of my pride and I was embarrassed to share what happened to me … but honestly who doesn't want to capture there Instagram in a fun light,' wrote the 39-year-old via Instagram on Thursday.

Along with her own text, Spears included a photo of a child running through a field with the Albert Einstein quote: 'If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.'

Finally free: Britney Spears is apologizing for 'pretending like I've been ok the past two years' on social media in wake of her recent bombshell testimony, where she admitted to being 'traumatized' by the conditions of her ongoing conservatorship; Britney pictured

Finally free: Britney Spears is apologizing for 'pretending like I've been ok the past two years' on social media in wake of her recent bombshell testimony, where she admitted to being 'traumatized' by the conditions of her ongoing conservatorship; Britney pictured

Britney began Thursday's lengthy post by recalling how her mother Lynne would 'always [pretend] like everything was ok' for the sake of her and her siblings growing and how she drew upon that practice in her adult life.

'I just want to tell you guys a little secret … I believe as people we all want the fairy tale life and by the way I've posted … my life seems to look and be pretty amazing,' she wrote. 

'I think that's what we all strive for !!!! That was one of my mother's best traits … no matter how sh***y a day was when I was younger … for the sake of me and my siblings she always pretended like everything was ok.

'I'm bringing this to peoples attention because I don't want people to think my life is perfect because IT'S DEFINITELY NOT AT ALL,' she stressed.

Opening up: 'I did it because of my pride and I was embarrassed to share what happened to me … but honestly who doesn't want to capture there Instagram in a fun light,' wrote the 39-year-old via Instagram on Thursday

Opening up: 'I did it because of my pride and I was embarrassed to share what happened to me … but honestly who doesn't want to capture there Instagram in a fun light,' wrote the 39-year-old via Instagram on Thursday

Referring to Wednesday's bombshell testimony, Britney wrote: 'and if you have read anything about me in the news this week … you obviously really know now it's not !!!!'

'I apologize for pretending like I've been ok the past two years … I did it because of my pride and I was embarrassed to share what happened to me … but honestly who doesn't want to capture there Instagram in a fun light!!!!

She went on to admit that 'pretending that I'm ok has actually helped' her mental well being and that she 'decided to post this quote today because by golly if you're going through hell.' 

Spears continued: 'I feel like Instagram has helped me have a cool outlet to share my presence … existence … and to simply feel like I matter despite what I was going through and hey it worked.

Not perfect: Referring to Wednesday's bombshell testimony, Britney wrote: 'and if you have read anything about me in the news this week … you obviously really know now it's not !!!!'

Not perfect: Referring to Wednesday's bombshell testimony, Britney wrote: 'and if you have read anything about me in the news this week … you obviously really know now it's not !!!!'

'So I've decided to start reading more fairy tales!!!' concluded the Toxic singer, referring to the Einstein quote.

Shortly after sharing her thoughts and feelings to Instagram, Britney's longtime beau Sam Asghari revealed on his own account that the pair are currently jetting off to an unknown location.

In a series of filtered videos, Sam and Britney looked to be in great spirits as they sat next to one another on a private jet.

The Lucky singer let out a boisterous laugh, while stealthy capturing a dog face filter video of her boyfriend sleeping in his seat.

Vacation: Shortly after sharing her thoughts and feelings to Instagram, Britney's longtime beau Sam Asghari revealed on his own account that the pair are currently jetting off to an unknown location

Vacation: Shortly after sharing her thoughts and feelings to Instagram, Britney's longtime beau Sam Asghari revealed on his own account that the pair are currently jetting off to an unknown location

Having a blast: In a series of filtered videos, Sam and Britney looked to be in great spirits as they sat next to one another on a private jet
Having a blast: In a series of filtered videos, Sam and Britney looked to be in great spirits as they sat next to one another on a private jet

Having a blast: In a series of filtered videos, Sam and Britney looked to be in great spirits as they sat next to one another on a private jet

She held her finger up to her lips, signaling she is trying to be as quiet as possible, as Sam remained completely unaware of her playful antics.

Prior to sharing playful videos featuring Spears, Asghari had taken to his Instagram to give his 1.8million followers a look at their luxe jet.

He snapped a photo of himself seated with his leg pressed against the retro-inspired interior of the jet, as a can of Pellegrino water and a bottle of Fiji water rested in cup holders next to him.

Holding his phone camera up to one of the jet's windows, Sam captured video of her aircraft flying out of Los Angeles, but did not give any clue as to where he and Britney were heading.

A source, speaking of Sam and Britney's relationship, recently told ET that the pair 'basically live their life as a couple under curfew.'

The Lucky singer let out a boisterous laugh, while stealthy capturing a dog face filter video of her boyfriend sleeping in his seat

The Lucky singer let out a boisterous laugh, while stealthy capturing a dog face filter video of her boyfriend sleeping in his seat

Quiet! She held her finger up to her lips, signaling she is trying to be as quiet as possible, as Sam remained completely unaware of her playful antics

Quiet! She held her finger up to her lips, signaling she is trying to be as quiet as possible, as Sam remained completely unaware of her playful antics

Despite the constraints, the couple are said to be 'stronger than ever' and that Sam is 'so proud of Britney for finally having this moment,' referencing to her recent shocking conservatorship testimony.

Sam is said to love Britney 'very much' and that over the course of their relationship they have come to 'understand each other on a deep level.' 

The source described Britney and Sam's love as being 'often childlike and fun, but it is also deep and serious' and that 'they have overcome so much, which has balanced them out, but also showed them that they can do anything together.

'They're stronger than ever and ready to take on whatever challenge comes their way including business, personal, everything else in between. It's Britney and Sam as a unit, period.'

'[Britney] hopes her words will help set some sort of precedence and maybe one day, make a difference for capable adults to take over their own finances,' the source said, adding that Britney is 'tired of listening to everyone on her team about how she should live her life or spend her money.' 

Luxe: Prior to sharing playful videos featuring Spears, Asghari had taken to his Instagram to give his 1.8million followers a look at their luxe jet

Luxe: Prior to sharing playful videos featuring Spears, Asghari had taken to his Instagram to give his 1.8million followers a look at their luxe jet

Taking off: Holding his phone camera up to one of the jet's windows, Sam captured video of her aircraft flying out of Los Angeles, but did not give any clue as to where he and Britney were heading

Taking off: Holding his phone camera up to one of the jet's windows, Sam captured video of her aircraft flying out of Los Angeles, but did not give any clue as to where he and Britney were heading

They continued: 'It's her liberation and it's a long time coming. Sam has been going above and beyond to make sure Britney knows how much he supports and loves her. 

'[Sam] knows how difficult and emotionally taxing yesterday would be for her, so he planned grand gestures for her at home to feel extra special and adored.'

Sam has also 'been a huge support emotionally for Britney' amid all of her legal woes, with the source revealing that the pair have 'been preparing for this day and they feel a sense of relief it has come, although it is just the beginning. He continues to be her backbone, support her, and show his love, and he always will.' 

ET's insider further stressed that Britney is 'beyond exhausted' under the constraints of her conservatorship and is 'ready to live her life.' 

'She wants to be free of all the restrictions and she is ready to fight for her life because that is what this is.'

On Wednesday, Spears admitted her bizarre social media posts 'are a lie' in shocking testimony from her conservatorship battle.

#FreeBritney: Britney Spears admitted her bizarre social media posts 'are a lie' in shocking testimony from her conservatorship battle (seen in 2018)

#FreeBritney: Britney Spears admitted her bizarre social media posts 'are a lie' in shocking testimony from her conservatorship battle (seen in 2018)

She spoke to judge Brenda Penny via telephone where she revealed the severity of her health and well-being under the court-ordered conservatorship.

'I've lied and told the whole world I'm OK and I'm happy. It's a lie,' Spears told the court. 'I've been in denial. I've been in shock. I am traumatized. 

'Fake it 'til you make it, but now I'm telling you the truth, OK? I'm not happy. I can't sleep. I'm depressed. I cry every day.'  

Britney's social media posts are often dissected and deconstructed by fans looking for any way into the mind of the Toxic singer.

In a video shared earlier this year from what appeared to be her home in Calabasas, Britney said she was 'totally fine.'

Red roses? Britney's social media posts are often dissected and deconstructed by fans looking for any way into the mind of the Toxic singer

Red roses? Britney's social media posts are often dissected and deconstructed by fans looking for any way into the mind of the Toxic singer

Staying strong: In a video shared earlier this year from what appeared to be her home in Calabasas, Britney said she was 'totally fine'

Staying strong: In a video shared earlier this year from what appeared to be her home in Calabasas, Britney said she was 'totally fine'

She added: 'I'm extremely happy, I have a beautiful home, beautiful children. I'm taking a break right now because I'm enjoying myself.' 

Spears pleaded with the judge on Wednesday to re-evaluate the conservatorship she's been under for 13 years, with dad Jamie at the helm of her $60million fortune.

'I want this conservatorship to end. I truly believe that this conservatorship is abusive,' she said in a passionate testimony. 'I want to be able to get married to my boyfriend and have a baby but the conservatorship told me I can't do that.'

The status hearing did not hear any petitions, meaning that a decision was not asked for. Judge Penny said that she will set a hearing as soon as possible, so that Britney can make her petition. 

Tough position: Spears pleaded with the judge on Wednesday to re-evaluate the conservatorship she's been under for 13 years, with dad Jamie at the helm of her $60million fortune

Tough position: Spears pleaded with the judge on Wednesday to re-evaluate the conservatorship she's been under for 13 years, with dad Jamie at the helm of her $60million fortune

The last time Spears spoke directly to the judge was in May 2019 but the court was closed to the public and her testimony was sealed.

Details of her mental health have never been disclosed. 

Her boyfriend, Sam Asghari, a 27-year-old Iranian personal trainer and actor, who she met when he starred in her 2016 video for the song Slumber Party, posted a photo to Instagram shortly before the hearing.

It showed with him in a T-shirt reading: 'Free Britney'. He has been outspoken against her father, calling him 'a d***'.

Jamie Spears' lawyer, Vivian Thoreen - responding to Britney's attack on her father- told Judge Penny in a two-sentence statement that Jamie 'is sorry to see his daughter suffering and in so much pain.

She added: 'Mr Spears loves his daughter and misses her very much.'

What is a conservatorship?

A conservatorship is a legal concept whereby a probate court appoints a person to manage an incapacitated person or minor's financial and personal affairs.

It is often a relative.

The terminology and details vary state-by-state, but the general principals are all similar.

The conservator's duties include overseeing finances, medical care and living arrangements.

In Britney's case, the conservators also oversee visitation arrangements with her two teenage sons, who are under the full custody of her ex-husband, Kevin Federline.

It is most frequently used for someone who is severely mentally incapacitated, or suffering from dementia.

Yet in the 13 years of Britney's conservatorship, she has released four albums - two of them going platinum; appeared as a judge on both The X Factor and American Idol; and had a four-year residency in Las Vegas that reportedly grossed close to $138 million.

The specific details of Britney's case have not been revealed.

Unless a judge says otherwise, they still retain rights to make certain decisions, according to the California handbook.

They can control salaries they earn, spend an allowance, retain legal representation, vote in elections, get married, draft their own wills, make medical decisions for themselves and ask a judge to terminate conservatorships or replace their guardians.

'All conservatees have the right to be treated with understanding and respect and to have their wishes considered. They have all basic human rights, as well, and the right to be well cared for by you,' the California handbook says.

Britney says that she has not had these rights. It is unclear whether this is a violation of her case, or as agreed.

There are two types of conservators: a conservator of the person, who looks after meals, housekeeping, transport, housing and recreation, and a conservator of the estate who manages finances and protects assets.

Sometimes one person can play both roles.

The conservator of the estate must file periodic activities reports by the first year after their appointment and every two years following, until the relationship is terminated.

The estate managers have to disclose asset values, gains and losses, and show receipts for all expenditures of conservatorship funds. They are also prohibited from borrowing money from the conservatee or lending out their cash.

Many countries have similar systems.

In the U.K. it is called a deputyship. In Britain, however, the court will appoint an independent conservator, rather than a family member.

 

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Britney Spears was 'embarrassed to share' her conservatorship trauma

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