Finding calm in the chaos

“I’m not who I used to be.”
“I don’t enjoy work anymore.”
“I am angry all the time.”
“I can’t seem to relax.”
“I feel anxious and overwhelmed.”
Do any of these phrases resonate with how you have been feeling these days? Have you been on edge lately, finding it hard to meet goals and plan for the future? I’m sure at least some of these have struck a rather unpleasant chord somewhere.

For many of us, our horrifying and unpleasant life experiences have completely disrupted our otherwise highly predictable and routine-ridden lives. This pandemic seems to have shredded and torn into our lives and with it, our dreams, aspirations and plans for the future, in a way that it can never be restored to what it once was or how we once were.

For the first time, we are standing on uneven ground and in unfamiliar terrain. Our bodies and minds seem desperate to adapt and find a calm normalcy, some safe ground to stand on, but adaptation is never easy. Change never comes alone, it brings with it, pain. Today, as we battle an unknown virus, we are also battling an unseen pandemic -- this one threatening our peace and mental and emotional health.

Anxiety, fear, obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder have now become household names, with even children needing support. This is why it is becoming increasingly important to work on caring for our mental and emotional health so we can care for ourselves and be as resilient as we can.

There are no sure shot methods to do that but here are some suggestions:

• Practise lifestyle changes like never before healthy eating, sleep hygiene and exercise
• Help out with household chores. Share the workload
• Learn new skills cooking, baking, sewing, a new language, whatever tickles your fancy
• Practise digital detox and lead by example so that children learn too. Set limits on news and social media
• Practise mindfulness and breathing
• Start journaling regularly and write down your thoughts, feelings, emotions and experiences
• Spend lots of time with family and friends through virtual platforms and phone calls. Check up on your loved ones and let them know you are there for them
• If possible, spend some time outdoors, provided it is a safe environment and of course, where a mask!
• Pause difficult conversations till you feel more balanced
• Take intentional, planned breaks from your gadgets
• Practise grounding exercises whenever you feel anxious or overwhelmed
• Talk to someone -- a friend, a family member, a professional, anyone
• Try to stay away from your mind’s attempt to predict the future because an anxious mind will only flood you with triggering worst-case scenarios
• Lean on your faith, traditions, if any, for support
• Be gentle to yourself
• Stop haranguing the children. They are afraid, disturbed and trapped too
• Be aware of your community and try to help

I can go on and on and there a million ways to help nurture yourself and those around you in these challenging times. Do what you can, feel what you feel and help whenever possible. Take care of yourself as best you can through self-care, compassion, understanding, selfacceptance and self-love. Until this passes, hug yourself and tell yourself, ‘I will try and be alright. Let this uncertainty be my strength.’

Dr Purnima Nagaraja

(The author is a psychotherapist at Dhrithi Wellness Clinic)