Nine years ago, when Quinn Roux boarded a plane bound for Dublin, he was taking a giant leap into the unknown, as it was the first time he had ever left South Africa.
What should have been an exciting journey was instead racked by self-doubt.
Had he made the right decision? Was he good enough to cut it in Ireland? Could he actually create a better life for himself thousands of miles away from the only place he had ever known?
Looking back on his decision to pack his bags, Roux is still surprised that he went through with it, and for all the unfair criticism he has copped throughout his time in Ireland, there isn’t an ounce of regret because moving here changed his life.
A new adventure beckons in France, with Toulon the most likely destination, but just as it was tough to move from South Africa all those years ago, Roux spent ages agonising over whether or not it was wise to leave the place he now calls home.
Connacht wanted to keep the powerful lock in Galway next season, but the reality is he was offered better terms in France and, at 30, Roux is making another decision that he feels is better for himself, his wife Rentus and their daughter Rhemy, who turned one in April.
Despite most wishing him well, certain comments aimed at Roux have stung, yet he feels that has been indicative of how some people have looked at him during his time in Ireland.
“I don’t know if it’s just because I wasn’t born in the country,” Roux says.
“If I was as bad as was said, then why did I keep getting selected by some of the best coaches in the world throughout my time here? I just don’t get it. I can’t be that f**king s**t, do you what I mean?
“I was not here to steal other people’s jobs. It’s not like I was shipped underneath the ship across from South Africa into Dublin and said, ‘I’m going to see how many second-row’s jobs I can take for the next 10 years’ – sitting on my a**e pointing a gun against the coach’s head and saying, ‘Pick me.’
“I f**king worked really hard. I put my heart and soul, f**king broken bones, everything into this club (Connacht) especially.
“When I went up to play for Ireland, I always did the best I could. I gave 100pc. For some people, that might not be enough, but the people who pick me and the people who I play with, think it’s enough.
“I guess when I think about it like that, everything else is just background noise.
“If you look at the comments, which I hate doing, but as a player, you go and do it sometimes, but 99.9pc of the comments were positive. I took a bit of peace from that.
“Fair enough if I play s**t, say that, but it felt like it became more personal when people go and attack a certain group for whatever reason.
“That’s the problem with these people, they won’t say it to my face. They sit comfortably behind the screens and talk.
“I think overall, it has been way more positive. There are always going to be people who will target a certain group and won’t be happy with stuff, but I didn’t make the rules.
“I’m not pointing a gun at anyone saying, ‘I’m not going to work for 10 years but you better pick me anyway.’
“That’s just not how it works. You work as hard as anyone and if you’re good enough, you’re going to get picked. Sometimes I wasn’t good enough and I didn’t get picked. That’s just professional sport.”
Top-level sport is indeed a ruthless business and Roux has felt the brunt of it enough times throughout his career to understand that.
However, playing in France has always appealed and when an attractive offer was put on the table in the middle of a pandemic, Roux came to the conclusion that he would be foolish to turn it down.
Galway has become home since he left Leinster in 2014, and he and his young family fully intend to return following their French sojourn.
“Joining Connacht ended up being the best decision I have ever made in my career and potentially in my life,” Roux admits.
“Since we bought the house in Galway in 2018, it’s been the plan to stay here because we believe, for Rhemy and if we have more kids, it’s a safer environment for them to grow up in.
“Look, we miss our family a lot in South Africa, but I have to look after my own family now and do what’s best for them.
“Maybe we’ll love it in France and we won’t want to come back, maybe the sun will be too nice, but we know Galway is where we want to be, however long it may take to come back.
“My wife got her Irish citizenship last week, so all three of us have Irish passports now. We can go and experience something else and then come back and enjoy our lives in Galway.
“Your mind shifts once you start having kids. It’s a bit different when you start negotiating contracts. You definitely want to make sure that everything is OK financially. I guess I have to be a bit more selfish.”
Roux mentions the ‘mentally tough’ days when he was coming to terms with the decision to leave Galway, and thus end his Ireland career, for now at least.
The former Stormers second-row knows he, along with fellow players who qualified for their adopted country via World Rugby’s now expanded three-year residency rule, became a lightning-rod for some people to sling mud. No one will ever take his 16 Ireland caps away from him, but Roux admits:
“Leaving now is a bit tougher because I felt in November, the last few games I played for Ireland, I played some of my best rugby in a green jersey.
“The November period was the most comfortable I have felt and I think that’s why I played some of my better rugby.
“I’ve made the decision, now I just have to back it. I don’t know, I might be back in a few years and I could do it again because some of the top second-rows in the world play until 35 or 36.
“I know the door is shut for now, but who knows what will happen in two years before the next World Cup.”
That sense of unfinished business is tough to shake for Roux, particularly because a shoulder and neck injury robbed him of his last few months with Connacht.
Looking back on his two-year spell with Leinster, he wishes he was mature enough to appreciate the good times more than he did at the time.
Yet, that has all been part of the learning curve for Roux, who although is relishing a fresh start in France, is also mindful of what may come further down the track.
“I would be lying if I said a part of me doesn’t feel like I have more to offer in Ireland,” he adds.
“I’m not going to France to go on holiday. I am still very ambitious to be a better player.
“I would love to think that I could go play there for two years and be really dominant, people would want me to come back to Ireland because I played so well.
“You never know what’s going to happen, I might love it over there and want to finish off there and then come back to Galway.
“But yeah, there is definitely a part of me that feels like there is a bit more to come here.”