WOMEN

The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week (May 29-June 4)

"I see women out and y’all are wearing bras again. I THOUGHT WE HAD AN AGREEMENT."

The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious musings of 280 characters or fewer.

Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women below. Then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.

Sign up for our Funniest Tweets of the Week newsletter here.

This weekend a 19 year old said to me, “I love when you say ‘this rules’ or ‘that rules.’ It makes you sound like a mom.” So, just wanted to give everyone else a heads up.
— grace spelman: that’s ‘retha franklin (@GraceSpelman) June 2, 2021
Happy pride I will never forget what my grandmother said to me when I came out to her at age 18. The words have really stuck with me. She said “stop crying we’re at a Chinese buffet I don’t care if you’re gay”
— Samantha Ruddy (@samlymatters) June 1, 2021
Proud to say I finally deleted my ex’s number! I memorized it
— Sahana Srinivasan (@sahana_srini) June 2, 2021
I use a wheelchair. When someone asks the person I’m with “What’s her name?” I tell the person I’m with to say “Your guess is as good as mine.”
— Lindsay (@Rollinintheseat) June 1, 2021
If I e-mail you and you call me back instead of e-mailing back, can you please never do that
— Amy Kaufman (@AmyKinLA) June 2, 2021
For $40 I will come to a party with you and start a huge fight so you can go home early. For an extra $10 I will pretend to stomp off but really I will go into the kitchen and shove a bunch of snacks into my pockets for you to eat on the way home.
— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) May 30, 2021
she’ll text you back man, she’s just screenshotting your message and sending it to her friend with the caption “yikes”
— trash jones (@jzux) June 2, 2021
Pinterest girls be like: I’m getting married in a barn but the barn is made of reclaimed barn wood from a different barn
— Tiff (@its_me_your_mom) June 2, 2021
I don’t need to write that down. I’ll remember it.

I have never in my life remembered it.
— Stacey (@skittle624) May 29, 2021
oh so you’re telling me you DON’T hoard every sentimental thing you receive because you have a healthy relationship with the passage of time???
— natalie (@princessbozo) June 2, 2021
Had a dream I wrote an opinion piece titled “I’m the mr bean of women — but don’t call me Mrs bean”
— Sarah Hagi (@KindaHagi) June 2, 2021
When I see a 28 yr old with a baby I’m like, “wow respect to these teen parents”
— amil (@amil) May 31, 2021
A guy got mad and told to take my mask off at a gas station. I’ve practiced this interaction in my head a million times. but I got nervous and yelled “fat chance!!!”....like some sort of 40s newsboy
— Laura Peek (@laurapeek_) June 2, 2021
Pride in your 20s vs pride in your 30s pic.twitter.com/RcJmLPbLcs
— gabrielle korn (@Gabrielle_Korn) June 2, 2021
Welcome to your 40's. Squinting's not helping anymore. Now you have to take pics of the products you want to buy, then enlarge them to read their composition.
— S🌟tella (@Havish_AF) June 1, 2021
therapist: lets end on that note
the note: pic.twitter.com/OvfSvq4R1j
— 𖤐 (@sliccmic) June 2, 2021
I see women out and y’all are wearing bras again. I THOUGHT WE HAD AN AGREEMENT
— Kate Lambert (@itskatelambert) June 2, 2021
did i drink too much last night or did i spend $50 on touchtunes credits to play all of olivia rodrigo’s Sour at a dive bar?
— kate winslet’s vape coach (@theeashleyray) May 30, 2021
Fully vaccinated as of yesterday, but still wearing a mask around people in public so my enemies won’t detect me until it’s too late.
— Celeste Ng (@pronounced_ing) June 3, 2021
currently procrastinating by doing the thing I've put off for weeks so I don't have to do the newest thing I don't want to do
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) June 2, 2021

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