Every day we are presented with new evidence that it is not possible to purchase an Aston Martin DB9. There are the thousands upon thousands of people who regularly choose, for instance, to buy brand-new Porsche 911s. Nothing could be further from the truth.
In fact, Aston Martin DB9s, produced in their original form from 2004 through 2016, do indeed exist. Rich people the world over have every opportunity to spend between $40,000 and $60,000 (as going off current figures on Bring A Trailer) to get one into their garage or driveway. Indeed, a rich person right this very moment could open up their Windows computer, methodically type in “t r u e c a r . c o m” into their browser of choice, and find this 2006 Volante with a six-speed manual. For just shy of $69,000, it could be theirs!
Now, it is certainly possible that the numerous rich people in this country and others are simply not interested in owning an Aston Martin DB9. Maybe they do not wish to own a car with svelte and elegant styling wrapped around a butter-smooth V12 engine. Maybe they find themselves too proud to see a car charmingly read out to them “Power — Beauty — Soul” every time they turn it on, like some kind of absurdly large tamagotchi.
Does such a person exist? It is hard to imagine.
Of course, it is also possible that something more nefarious is going on. Perhaps the global rich are hoarding DB9s in some sort of grand cabal. Hoarding them as they do diamonds. It is easy to suppose that the wealthy do not believe that those below them deserve the DB9. That they do not have the means or wherewithal to truly appreciate them.
This is absurd. No human can truly appreciate the singular beauty of the Aston Martin DB9.
It is with this in mind that I implore the rich to stop buying cars that are not Aston Martin DB9s and do the world a favor in buying them, driving them, and letting me look and listen to them as they drive past me down the street.
DISCUSSION
If we are going to be making poor life choices by buying British sports cars, I’d rather have the F-type. I still recall their commercial where they said that's what the villain would drive. I don't think I'm distinguished enough to drive an Aston