Last week, Twitch addressed a minor community revolt with an urgent memo. It is titled: “Let’s Talk About Hot Tub Streams.” And the streams were unleashed.
The controversy began when streamers found their channels banned or demonetized after streaming “hot tub meta.” Streamers complained that Twitch was unclear about the reasons; the same territorial band of body cops has complained that bikinis break Twitch’s attire rules (and siphon attention from their purity gaming). Twitch pointed out in its announcement that hot tub meta works because Twitch allows for swimwear in “contextually appropriate” settings (such as hot tubs). For better or worse, the new Hot Tubs category was formed as a compromise between the hot tub streamers and those complaining about presence on “Just Chatting.”
Streamers improvised a Noah’s Ark of hot tubs.
They’re serving hot ducks, hot sea otters, hot capybaras, and a chimp gazing across a body of water while listening to a walkman. There are meme raves. Jesus Christ and Saint Mary are also there. In hot tubs. All are welcome.
Some satire, yes. A few mean-spirited invaders, probably (see “cat boy”). But does it really detract from the cultural value of a large man playing with his boobs in a kiddie pool? Some may muddle through their monotonous days without the poop clip from Caddyshack. Not Hot Tub Twitch.
Here are a few of the sundry images that drifted across our short attention spans this week, rated. (Some of these you have to catch when they’re live. Maybe make some hot tub content while you wait.)
BillyAtTheBeach: a looping livestream of a beefcake lifeguard (Sean Monroe from Baywatch?) bounding down the coast to tunes such as “Personal Jesus” by Depeche Mode. 10/10
“POOPY POOL PARTY! LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” An unforgettable classic. 10/10
“I’ll show you my mechanics. D1 main top”: F**t content. 10/10
“💦🍑Sexy Man in POOL [+18]🍑 💦|| 200 viewers = giveaway || 💦💦 SONG REQUEST! 💦💦 || 🍑FOLLOW=ALERT🍑”: Au natural. 10/10.
“🦄🌈🚽💩 Después implementaremos los pedos de unicornio 🦄🌈🚽”: Expanding the genre’s boundaries. 10/10
“💦 THICCEST CHICKS💦HOTTUB CONTENT💦RELAXING ASMR NATURE SOUNDS”: Obviously, 10/10 (subscribers only)
“waiting to the party <3 <3 <3 1 sub = dance”: Perhaps an attempt to pray away hot tub content, but judged on the merits of Jesus Christ: 10/10
“Capibaras in a hot tub 4! 😳 Com and enjoy (MORE AND NEW CAPIBARAS)”: For flagrantly disobeying the tyrannical rule of attire guidelines. 10/10
“🥵biggest hot tub stream ever🥵”: Do Storm Troopers get horny? Consider the limitless possibility for spin-offs. 10/10
“monkey”: An image as captivating as a Chris Marker short. 1000/10
DISCUSSION
And on this day, though not for the first time, RSI did become acutely aware of how fucking old he was.