Fun fact: Life has an expiry date too
Dr Sumedha Kushwaha *
If you have lost a friend, family member, even a distant relative during or due to the pandemic- I am so sorry for your loss. I am sorry because I know you feel that the doctors, hospital staff, health system, government, your own relatives, transport services, crematorium people, airlines, neighbors, friends- everyone failed you. Yes, they did. You have all the right to be angry.
Please be, please cry it out and tell the world that you are sad. Don’t be quiet.
I know that if you were an old couple living with children away, it is difficult to take care of each other during sickness. I understand, if you are a mother and your child is sick, you are praying 24x7 for his/her recovery.
I also know if one or both of your parents are sick- it brings chills down the spine to even imagine them like that. People have borne losses this time- severe losses. I know because I have too. The agonizing pain is so sharp that the world doesn’t make sense anymore.
You start questioning - What will I do with all this money when my relative is not there now? You question yourself- is this job/ career/course more important than being with them? All material possessions have no value. I can imagine someone who has lost his/her spouse now sleeping on a bed with ‘that’ side vacant. The vacuum in that void would leave people insane.
Earlier when speaking of death, I used to be very practical- Death is inevitable. It has to happen. One day or the another- everyone goes. It’s the ultimate truth. But, I realized that it is easy to speak of all this but very difficult when it comes to practice.
During the pandemic, I understood that death is a great leveler- it just brings you back to basics, it makes you ponder about the incessant race that we are in. It makes you realize that you will be gone soon too and all that you created- will remain here. You came alone and will go alone. There is no co-passenger on this journey.
And that also makes us realize that our time here on this planet, in this lifetime is limited. We don’t know how much more we have. We keep wasting it thinking we have abundant left, but in reality, we don’t even know what the next moment brings.
Death teaches you to be kind and compassionate. Most people have regrets. I wish I answered that call, I wish I spent more time with such and such a person, I wanted to say ‘I love you papa’ so much the last time I met him, I wanted to hug my friend and tell her she meant the world to me. So many stories. Your time is now. Create beautiful memories for and with the people you love.
Don’t be mean and rude to people. Don’t leave people with scars- rather leave them with a beautiful tattoo that they want to keep checking out again and again. All you got is your kind words. It is easy to yell and keep shouting at people. It is difficult to comprehend our emotions and put them in words, palatable for others to understand.
Death teaches us to take out time for friends and family- I know young ambitious kids reading this wouldn’t agree. Probably you are right. But it takes one phone call to make someone feel better. It takes a sentence of encouragement to cheer someone up.
It takes nothing to tell someone that they aren’t alone, you are standing with them in their fight too. It takes just a kind action to make an effort for someone. I swear- my only philosophy in life is – Karma is Dharma; which translates to “Your action is Your Religion”. Humanity is the biggest action. Love is religion.
Death also teaches you to do whatever you want to do in life- to the fullest. Don’t be afraid. Take your leap. Be fearless to love and give. Be courageous to create and execute. Be an inspiration to others and compete with yourself.
Give hope and take someone’s pain. Do whatever makes you happy and live life with no regrets. Remember, life has an expiry date too. It is just not mentioned on the label and hence we take it for granted.
For people whom you have lost, the Buddha drew a red circle- you will keep meeting them in all other lifetimes in some role or the other. People depart but connections of the soul are eternal. Sending you all abundant love and hope!
Our NGO, ATTAC- Aim to Terminate Tobacco and Cancer Society has launched a helpline 9863438005. For anyone who is feeling lonely and wants to talk, we are there. Mental health is our mission and topmost priority! Follow us on Instagram- @ngoattac#ATTACagainstLoneliness