Thread: just saw the new mortal kombat

Barbers offer to cut my throat instead of my hair because of my ugliness crew
Cry myself to sleep while humping mattress and clutching pillow crew
Once threw a party only pet turtle showed up crew
T-Mobile worker laughed at me because only had one number for 5-friends/family plan crew
Got jumped and bystanders laughed/recorded it crew
Take out trash and trash man mistakes me for garbage crew
Mom slides food through slot in my door without saying a word crew