It is unfair to say that I only make election speeches. I make 8 pm speeches on TV. I make monthly speeches on the radio. I make speeches to children about exams. I make speeches to push the sales on my books about exams. I give speeches to experts about things that they might be experts about but where I know far more than them. Like radar, the environment, women’s dieting habits, climate change, the economy, investment, mathematics, foreign relations and mathematics which is a new research subject that I have founded, medicine, stem cell research, surgery, virus vaccines, ancient India, imaginary ancient India… In fact, there is no limit to what I know. Name a subject. I can prove it.
Pressure.
There’s the wave pressure. Wave at everything they say. Crowds, no crowds, tunnels, waves, dams, waves, people, no people, mountains, rivers, just keep waving. My 56-inch chest has been a bit overdone. I might have to boast about my massive upper arms. Oh, someone already did that after I got my first Covid vaccine. I should really capitalise on that. I’ve really done no proper campaign since feeding those peacocks.
On top of this, I hear some disquieting murmurs. About my not doing enough work. I don’t know what they expect. I told the Union Finance Minister to cut interest rates in small savings schemes. She did it. Then I told her to roll back the cut. She did it The obedience is commendable. But that’s not important. Let’s not get distracted. The important thing is: How many people are capable of doing such contradictory things with such aplomb?
Or look at the Union Defence Minister? He’s an old hand. See how he manages to uphold everything I say no matter whether people understand or not? That country entered our territory. It did not. It entered. It did not. It hurt us. It did not. We are the best. We finished them. We demolished other countries. He repeats everything.
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