Christina Aguilera certainly looked like she was having the time of her life 15 years ago. At 25, she was enviably gorgeous, fabulously wealthy, adored and successful.
But now, at 40, the Grammy Award-winning singer admits that the outward illusion belied the whole truth.
“I have a hard time looking at the early pictures of myself because I remember feeling so insecure. I would never want to relive my 20s — you’re so in your own head and finding your confidence,” she said.
... and now: Aguilera at the premiere of Mulan in 2020. Photo: Getty
If you ever watched the Lena Dunham-penned comedy Girls, you might remember a similar line uttered by a middle-aged female doctor during a medical exam on Dunham’s character, Hannah.
“You couldn’t pay me to be 24 again,” the doctor sighs with a wariness that anyone over 30 will readily relate to.
It’s funny: to the untrained eye, being a woman in your 20s seems like you’ve landed smack bang into the time of your life.
You are relatively unfettered from the weight of responsibility: children, mortgages, dependants. You have the energy and appetite to enjoy life as little or as much as you want.
Your friendships are perky and fizzy, yet to be worn down by the vagaries of life. You are an idealist in a way that you won’t be 20 years from now. Your body is at its gravitational apex, if that kind of thing is important to you.
Yet more importantly, given that pop culture constantly insists on peddling the idea that youth is one of the most powerful currencies that there is, you have plenty of ‘youth’ in the bank.
You are at the precipice of creating who you will be, and that, in theory, can seem like the most exciting thing of all.
But let’s pick apart this whole fallacy, shall we? Because if even Christina Aguilera didn’t enjoy her 20s, then what hope did any of us have?
Granted, Aguilera hit her twenties at a particularly unfortunate time. As we know all too well now, the Noughties were especially unkind to women (in particular, young, famous women).
#MeToo and Body Positivity had yet to be birthed as widely held ideologies, so young women had to grapple with body insecurities, harassment and general inequality. Still, it becomes painfully clear that every generation of young twentysomething women has their own battles to face.
I came of age a couple of years before Aguilera, entering my twenties at the height of ladette culture. Still, I don’t remember it being a particularly comfortable time. I was flat broke, for a start. I was learning about credit cards and overdrafts (and learn I did, the hard way).
As an intern at work, I had my face pressed up against the metaphorical glass door, wishing and hoping to be accepted by people who were far more assure than I. They were just comfortable in a way that I knew acutely I wasn’t.
I would watch these older colleagues (at the grand old age of 31 or so) eat their sushi lunches, or nip off for lunch-break facials, and feel a pang of inadequacy.
Whatever insecurities I had — and there were many — I wore them heavily, attempting to camouflage them with bravado and ebullience. It’s a combination that’s not fun to be around.
Twentysomethings have so much headwork ahead of them: to figure out what they like, what exactly they want to say, and who they are. The big tragedy, often, is that they already believe that work to be done.
At 24, I had a flat stomach, a canny ability to swerve hangovers, and could sleep in until midday if I wanted. Would I go back? Not for millions.
Laura Whitmore’s ‘happiness’ guilt – there’s nothing wrong with enjoying motherhood
How is a new mother ‘supposed’ to feel? I only ask because Laura Whitmore has offered an intriguing take.
“Little tip for speaking to new mums... everyone has a different experience so please don’t put your opinion or expectation on them,” she wrote on Instagram. “I’ve been told I won’t be able to leave the house and should feel s**t.
“But I actually feel the best I’ve felt ever and the happiest I’ve ever been in my entire life. And maybe feel a bit guilty for feeling good, as I’ve been told I shouldn’t.”
The comment comes after Vogue Williams admitted that she hid her post-baby body after welcoming her daughter, because she didn’t want to make others feel bad.
We’re at a tricky precipice, where the only acceptable narrative about new motherhood is the one in which women are sleep-deprived, flailing, finding breastfeeding difficult, and struggling to get to grips.
This in turn is a backlash to the ‘Hashtag blessed’ brigade who failed to acknowledge the often intense reality of motherhood.
Certainly, Whitmore and Williams are likely one up on most mums, given that they are both financially secure and comfortable in ways that many women are not.
Yet if someone finds motherhood easier than others, for whatever reason, that’s perfectly fine too. They acknowledge that their experiences fly in the face of most new mums’ reality, and that should be enough.
Don’t knock the Queen for returning to work – but spare me the bit about ‘dedication to duty’
Much as I’m loath to add to the wave upon wave (upon wave) of commentary after the death of Prince Philip, I’m struck by the Queen’s return to work.
Grief is a very complicated beast, so returning to her royal duties quickly is entirely her prerogative and not something that should be criticised.
But let’s maybe ditch the ‘steadfast dedication to duty’ angle, which has been flogged so thoroughly in the last week, it’s been almost worn away to nothing.
