Thread: That Pain of Your MySpace Oneitis Rejecting You... (oldcels GTFIH) (nostalgia)

Imagine a Saturday night just like tonight. The year is 2006...



This is your oneitis. You’re horny, so you log into MySpace to stalk her profile.

You’re immediately overtaken by the loud guitar riff of All American Rejects playing in the background. You’ve got a dirty little secret too. You’re fapping to her watermarked duck lips. You’re about three strokes from cumming on your mother’s grey Windows XP keyboard when you see the orange “online now” icon light up on this sloot’s profile.

Beads of sweat start to drip down your back. You’ve never been a risk taker, but tonight you feel confident. Is it youthful naivety or just the rush of imagining a girl you know naked and in your arms?

You want to feel her warm sugar walls so bad. You’re scared, but you take a deep breath and click the ‘send message’ button with a simple “hello.”

To your surprise, she actually responds with “heyyy!”



This is it. You finally have a chance. Your virginity is not long for this world!

The two of you spend the whole evening messaging back and forth. She laughs at your animated emoticons and you’re just loving the attention she shows you. The two of you really hit it off.

To your delight, she offers her phone number to move this convo over to text. Oh boy.



You pull out that crisp new LG EnV and flip open that sexy keyboard. Before long she’s sending mirror pics of her teds and you’re sending some back lifting your shirt up, showing off that washboard six pack you’ve been working so hard for. You blow a load to those 1.8 megapixel breasts and fall asleep instantly, dink in hand.

The next day you and her make plans to meet up at Quiznos.



She doesn’t show.

There you are, eating a toasted turkey and cheddar sub, sipping on a Vault, silently crying.

Was any of it real?

You later discover she ghosted you to get her back blown out by Mikey, the local unemployed guido.




That was the night you discovered the bodybuilding.com misc forums, got redpilled on sloots gonna sloot, and the rest is history...

As a 40 yr old I totally dug that nostalgia