‘Sarah went from bookworm to party girl – but it took her cancer diagnosis to get us all back together and see her how she really is’

Last summer, Sarah Harding, the 39-year-old Girls Aloud star who shot to fame on Popstars: The Rivals in 2002, was diagnosed with stage-four breast cancer. She has now penned a memoir, Hear Me Out, in which she reveals doctors told her that the Christmas just gone was likely to have been her last. In this exclusive extract from the book, out today, former bandmate Nadine Coyle describes
meeting Sarah for the first time, how their friendship blossomed after a shaky start, and how a recent reunion with all five members of Girls Aloud offered the women a rare chance to reconnect

Sarah (left) and Nadine at the O2 In The Park festival at the Phoenix Park, Dublin, in September 2004. Photo Showbiz Ireland/Getty Images

Nadine Coyle

March 18 2021 02:30 AM

I vividly remember spotting Sarah for the first time, out of all the hundreds of people who were at the very first auditions for Popstars: The Rivals. It was the bright blonde hair; the seemingly confident air she had. She was so bubbly and loud – you couldn’t have missed her if you’d tried. Growing up in a small town as I had, I’d never met anyone like Sarah before. Naturally, I just rolled my eyes and thought, oh my God; she’s going to be one of those attention-seeking stage-school nightmares.

When we both got to the final 10, and all ended up living in a house together, Sarah and I ended up sharing a room. This was where I very quickly saw a different side to her.

Surprisingly reserved, Sarah is a deep thinker. In fact, she spent much of her time with her nose in a book. I noticed her language and vocabulary as well. When you were having a conversation with Sarah, she’d use all these long words and cleverly articulated sentences, unlike the rest of the girls in the house. It was such a surprise that this personality was hidden underneath all the overblown bravado.

Sarah began her life in Girls Aloud with a cloud hanging over her head. She was the last to be chosen, and there was all the negative press about the choice of her over Javine. Sarah either felt like she wasn’t good enough, or that other people didn’t think she was good enough.

I was sort of aware of what she was going through at the time, but I was 17, four years younger than Sarah, so I wasn’t really equipped to presume what she might be thinking. I knew Sarah didn’t feel comfortable, but I didn’t know what to do to make it better. I had my own issues. I felt overworked and stressed out, as we all did. For those first few months after winning the show, all five of us were fighting to keep up with the pace. I could hardly help myself, let alone somebody else.

That all changed when I went back to Ireland to visit my parents a few months after the band was formed. My mum and dad showed me a video of the moment when it was announced that I’d got into the band. When Davina announced my name, I stood up, in complete shock. At the same time, Sarah jumped up to give me a hug, but I completely ignored her and kept on walking. My mum and dad both said to me, “Nadine, that’s not right. You completely ignored that girl.”

I felt so guilty. I realised that I hadn’t even tried to make an effort with Sarah in the first couple of months of the band. I needed to spend some time getting to know who she really was, and from then on I made an effort to do just that. I remember being in a car with all the girls, travelling to one of the many roadshows we did up and down the country. I sent a secretive text to Sarah, apologising for ignoring her on the night we got into the band.

“What are you talking about?” Sarah replied. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

After that, the two of us got closer. As it turned out, we actually had stuff in common. I was always interested in cooking, and so was Sarah. She was always whipping up something in her flat, and she was good at it. It was simple things like that on which we found common ground.

Eventually, we started going out together, and when we were working, we’d try to find fun things to do during the day. Nights out together became a regular thing, but there was often a point in the evening when I thought it was time to go home and Sarah did not. It might have been three or four in the morning, but when I’d suggest it was home time, Sarah would always give the same answer. “No, I want to stay out!”

I simply couldn’t keep up with Sarah’s pace, and that’s when she started to make other friends who were more in tune with the hours she kept. It was the start of a whole new era for Sarah.

Gone was the girl who was defrosting chickens on a Friday night so she could do a roast on Sunday. Here was Sarah Harding, the party girl. I was fortunate enough to have seen the other side of her, too.

Over the years, I’ve tried to be there for Sarah in the way a big sister would, even though I’m younger than she is. Knowing she’s quite vulnerable and hates confrontation, I have tried, on occasion, to step in when I felt like someone was taking advantage of her or speaking inappropriately to her.

We all got together recently, all five of Girls Aloud. Given Sarah’s circumstances, it was a really wonderful thing, us all being together, but I felt like my eyes might fill with tears every time she spoke.

Why? Because it was the first time I could ever remember that Sarah was the main focus of attention, just chatting away normally. No drama. We were all focused on her. For the first time ever, Sarah was given the floor. The whole experience was a reminder of just how funny and open she is and how she really doesn’t care.

There was a lot of laughter and honesty, and I found the whole experience very moving.

It was probably one of the few times everybody got to see Sarah as she really is. As sad as I felt for what she was going through, I was, in that respect, really happy for her.