Living harmoniously

In Hindu weddings, one of the mantras recited by the bridegroom compares him to the sky and the bride to the earth. After a copious shower, the earth looks fresh and attractive. Nothing else can make it look so fresh. In the same way, the affection of a good husband endows the wife with strength, said V.S. Karunakarachariar in a discourse. During the Sesha homa, the bridegroom applies ghee on bride’s chest and on his own. This is to indicate that this is heart felt love. There is no pretence here. Their married life must be smooth, and without friction. The girl recites a mantra where she says she has seen her husband with her heart.

One may wonder how anyone can see with one’s heart. The meaning to be inferred here is that she is aware of his good qualities. To merely see with the eyes is to focus only on physical appearance. Physical charm and good looks fade with time, but one’s sterling qualities are never lost. So a good marriage is one where the bride and groom like each other for their laudable traits and not because each finds the other physically attractive. Similar words are spoken by the groom. The bride then says that she knows that he believes in progress through hard work. If there should be any lacuna in his life, the children born to them will make up for this. Again a similar mantra is recited by the groom. With such strong bonds, a marriage cannot go wrong.

In Yaksa Prasna, Yaksa asks Dharmaraja where one can find artha, kama and dharma. It seems as if the three cannot exist in the same place, for charity depletes wealth; kama can result in wealth and dharma being lost; obsession with wealth will chase away everything else. Dharmaraja replies that all three can be found where a husband and wife live harmoniously.