Hormones at the heart

BENGALURU: Scientists have been studying happiness, love and joy for all the time that there has been science, one could say. Along with the basic questions of why there is life, who we are, are we alone in this world, the questions that people ask themselves all the time, and hence scientists ask of themselves, are about love. What is love, why is there feelings of love and, as with all such studies, to some extent to figure out how love can be induced, manipulated and controlled.

Even before modern science, this has been the subject of all sorts of knowledge seekers, be it snake oil sellers, or priests in vaulted temples and other places of worship. People claiming all sorts of magic or ancient lore, have been trying to make all kinds of substances, poultices and potions to fall in love, fall out of love and everything else in between.

Now, modern science tells us it is quite likely about hormones. There’s oxytocin, serotonin, dopamine and endorphins, and maybe half a dozen more, but these four are the Big Ones that make us feel these feelings of love, they say. All these hormones are running around in our blood when we are happy, enjoying ourselves, feeling good about ourselves and feel love.

What does knowing all these things about hormones do for us? It doesn’t really tell us the answers to the big questions of Why yet. We don’t know what’s the purpose or meaning of love, and attempts at answering these questions have still largely remained in the arena of philosophy, or art. Still, knowing about the hormones help us understand what we could possibly do to feel ok when life doesn’t quite work the way we want.

If love doesn’t quite work the way we want, maybe we can recover from the pain we experience and still try to be ok by trying to up the other hormones – go for a really long run to get the endorphins going, listen to some very special songs or eat a favourite meal and have dopamine, serotonin and the pleasure hormones give us a break, or cuddle with a warm, friendly dog, get a hug, give a few belly rubs and get some solace with the oxytocins. Much of how we cope with the pain of loving or the loss of love is really this – trying to rebalance the hormones. 

Maybe one day, there will be a pill we could just pop that will reset all the hormone levels, and we can all just go in and out of love without much hassle at all. There are quite likely some scientists in labs around the world trying to figure out if that can be done – there’s a multi-billion dollar market waiting for just such a discovery.

Till then, we need to do what people have been doing all these millennia to try and recover ourselves from the turmoils of love and loss, whether we know these hormones by name or not.
(The author is a counsellor with InnerSight)