Why is HMRC bombarding me with texts and emails? | Zoe Williams

I have two emails that arrive on daily basis: one is from Zara Billings, and, on daily basis, with out fail, I’m wondering what I might presumably have purchased from Zara earlier than remembering that’s the title of a PR particular person. The different is from HMRC. It communicates with me consistently. Sometimes, it provides me webinars for furloughing workers I don’t have. Other occasions it’s telling me how Brexit will have an effect on my enterprise, when it plainly has no concept; it could as effectively have despatched me the emoji with the girl throwing her fingers up. Often, it’s a catch-all message of assist, corresponding to you may get from an osteopath – “Can we help? No time like the present!” – or one thing a bit extra demanding, however nonetheless open-ended and non-committal, within the type of a dental surgical procedure’s “is it six months since your last appointment?”, which all the time vaguely irks me. (You’re not allowed to problem me till you know I’m overdue. Those are the principles.)

HMRC has stepped it up a bit now with accompanying each day texts, imploring me to not go away my tax return till the deadline – regardless that this is presumably a channel for the self-employed. Why does it suppose I don’t have a correct employer anyway? Nobody desires last-minute retailers clogging up their life.

You all the time suppose you’re alone while you deal with HMRC, trapped in a panicky, Kafkaesque dyad, the tiny incompetent self v the huge state with its pointy edges. Then somebody on Twitter stated: “OK, OK, I’ve earned almost nothing, but you’ll get your money, alright? Just leave me alone. Go after a tax-avoiding major corporation for a change.” I sauntered over to Twitter to precise my gratitude and solidarity to the gentleman, pausing solely to verify my inbox. Ooh, I’m wondering what I’ve purchased from Zara …

• Zoe Williams is a Guardian columnist