Emotions to earthquakes, Einstein waves: A govt body’s cattle class

ANNOUNCED in the 2019-20 interim Budget, the Rashtriya Kamdhenu Aayog lists organisation of animal husbandry “on modern and scientific lines” among its prime objectives. Now, taking upon itself the mission “to infuse curiosity… about the importance of cows”, it has announced an online nationwide exam where participants will be tested on, among other things, knowledge of Indian cows’ “superiority” over foreign breeds, including in showing “emotions”; cow dung benefits, including in ensuring people were “not affected” during the Bhopal gas tragedy; the “link” between cow slaughter and earthquakes because of animals generating “Einsteinian Pain Waves”; and how India became a leading beef exporter under “a cow-eating leader”.

On Tuesday, the Aayog uploaded on its website a 54-page “reference material” for the Kamdhenu Gau-Vigyan Prachar-Prasar Examination, to be held on February 25. The material would help candidates “get maximum awareness about Kamdhenu Gau-Vigyan”, the notice on the website says.

The reference material talks at length about the “divinity” of the cow, mentioning the Rigveda to the Bible, adding, “Her face epitomises innocence —her eyes reflect peace, her horns, royalty and her ears, intelligence. Her udders are the fountain of ambrosia in the form of milk; her tail, a stairway to the higher regions of being.”

Another section lists how the Indian “desi” cow is vastly superior to the “exotic” Jersey variety. Unlike the Indian cows that have many medicinal benefits, the reference material says, the foreign breeds are harmful to health. And while the former is kind, warm, active, and hygienic, in the reference material’s words, “no emotion is displayed by the latter”. It goes on to list all the indigenous cattle breeds, and to explain what a gaushala (cow shelter) is, and the “five freedoms” it must aim for.

A section called ‘Panchgavya and its Usefulness’ has details on properties and “medicinal significance” of cow dung and urine — including fighting “all blood disorders” and leprosy, as an “antiseptic, skin tonic and tooth polish”, and for “anti-radioactive and anti-thermal properties”. Calling its urine a great elixir and as “pious” as Gangajal, the Aayog says, “In 1984, more than 20,000 people died due to gas leak in Bhopal. People living in houses with cow dung coated walls were not affected. Even today, nuclear power centres in India and Russia use shielding dung (against) radiation.”

The ‘Cow — Environment Protection & Climate Change’ section starts by talking about parts of the world “where people live a pre-industrial life”. “For example, Indonesian Borneo. Daily life in Borneo’s upcountry is usually pleasantly dull, as chickens scratch around, the women fan rice on mats to dry it, thunderstorms roll through, the sun dries the muddy paths, flowers riot into bloom, and it all starts over again the next day.”

‘Cow Slaughter, Catastrophes and Earthquakes — An Interrelationship’ says karma “suffered bad press under European missionaries who belittled it as ‘fate’ and ‘fatalism’, and today finds itself again in the ascendancy as the subtle and all-encompassing principle which governs man’s experiential universe in a way likened to gravity’s governance over the physical plane”. And goes on to argue, “Physicists M M Bajaj, Ibrahim and Vijayraj Singh have proposed the theory that animal slaughter and natural calamities like earthquakes have an interrelationship… The theory examines the complex role of nociceptive waves (or the waves generated by the animals on the verge of being butchered) in shearwave splitting which is related to seismic anisotropy… The daily butchering of thousands of animals continually for several years generates acoustic anisotropy due to Einsteinian Pain Waves (EPW) emitted by dying animals.”

‘Cow: An Engine of Progress and Prosperity’ says, “Reintroduction of cows can drastically change the rural landscape in India but the entire government machinery is geared towards killing and exporting cows. After Independence, it took 65 long years for Indian leaders to realise their cherished dream — to make India a world leader in beef export. This feat was achieved in year 2012 under the able leadership of a cow-eating leader.”

While Rashtriya Kamdhenu Aayog Chairman Dr Vallabhbhai Kathiria did not respond to email or messages, a query sent to Atul Chaturvedi, Secretary, Department of Animal Husbandry and Dairying, who is the ex-officio vice-chairman of the the Aayog, remained unanswered.

An official, speaking off the record, said the reference material for the planned exam was not approved by the government. “The Rashtriya Kamdhenu Aayog is an autonomous body,” the official said.

While announcing the constitution of the Aayog during the presentation of the interim Budget on February 21, 2019, then Finance Minister Piyush Goyal had said it would seek to “upscale sustainable genetic up-gradation of cow resources and to enhance production and productivity of cows”, as well as “effective implementation of laws and welfare schemes for cows”.

While details are not available about expenditure of the Aayog, the government allocated Rs 310 crore in the Union Budget 2020-21 for a ‘Rashtriya Gokul Mission’, to “conserve and develop Indigenous Breeds in a scientific and holistic manner”.

An official pegged the Rashtriya Kamdhenu Aayog’s annual budget at close to Rs 1 crore, “mainly on account of salaries and office expenses”.