Your get-going inspiration

The pandemic has been harsh in more ways than one, but especially to those who lost someone they loved, or a job that paid their bills—one that some of them had invested a chunk of their careers in. Experts say, post-loss, mornings can be particularly difficult, and those feeling severely depressed prefer to never get out of bed. While there is no right or wrong way to grieve and accept loss, there are those who manage to do it better than others. Meet five people who are sure to inspire you to "get on with it".

'Accepting it made it easier'

Mansi Zaveri, entrepreneur
Lost her father in September 2020

Accepting the truth COVID-19 doesn't give you too much time to act or mope; it demands speed and medical intervention, especially for senior citizens. The last time I saw my father, he was in a wheelchair with a mask on. I screamed across the doorway, "dad, you need to be strong and come back. We need you." He nodded, gave me a thumbs up. Two days before he passed away, we saw him on a video call with those pipes and tubes. I had to stop myself from breaking down because my mother was waiting for an update.

May be, accepting it made it easier. Accepting that this was his journey and being grateful for the fabulous life he had lived made it easier. Having celebrated his 80th birthday with the family last Christmas in Vietnam made it easy.

Small changes Mornings are my time to draw strength. Having practiced yoga for years helped centre my thoughts. I went for walks alone early morning so that I could be with myself, cry if I needed to.

I practiced gratitude every night and journalled to remind myself what I need to be grateful for. I exercised every day while dad was in the hospital, except the day he passed away. I have also turned to healing podcasts. Listening to the 15th chapter of the Gita is helping me find answers to my "why me?"

Big lessons Seeing my father at the crematorium wrapped in a body bag is not a memory I want to take forward.

I am cherishing time with my mother, who encouraged me to get back to work quickly. In a sense, I carry on a practice my father believed in—work is worship. There is enough to be grateful for.

What now There is no finite time to get over the loss of a parent. You can never be okay with it. I try and maintain a routine because otherwise, I struggle to get the thoughts out of my head.

'I read books that made me re-believe in goodness'

Niharika Gandhi feeding a stray during her morning walk

Niharika Gandhi, dog behaviourist and trainer
Lost 11 dogs during the pandemic

Accepting the truth The lockdown was a dark period for caregivers of street animals. I had 11 dogs dying one after another. Some with illness, or because they didn't get timely help. Others had been victims of a hit and run. There was anger and helplessness coupled with profound sadness. I had lost my ability to act, and suffered panic attacks and lack of sleep. Every death added to my grief.

Small changes Over time, I started drawing strength from within. I meditate, listen to music, and rely on lectures from spiritual leaders like Sadhguru. I read books that made me believe in goodness again.

Big lessons I had never held a shovel in my hand to bury an animal or gathered the eyeballs and teeth of a small kitten crushed under the tyres of a driver. The sadness destroyed a part of me, but it also strengthened me. It made me the beast who bears the pain. I can only be thankful that the worst is behind us.

What now Today, I feel like the warrior I have always been. Fighting to save as many lives as I can. Giving grieving its time, I am now honoured to serve the strays. And, although, I continue to stumble sometimes, I manage to shake off the gloom.

'Relaxing the mind helps you think clearly'

Yeshi Chaudhary performs yoga by following an online class

Yeshi Chaudhary, hospitality professional
Lost her job in April

Accepting the truth It was unbelievable. It felt like my life was falling apart. It took a week to let things sink in. No salary also meant no money for rent. I was living alone in Mumbai. I allowed myself 10 days to process what had happened. I informed my close friends, and decided to continue my routine, including yoga practise with a friend over Zoom. It helped me anchor my days.

Small changes I figured that I could finish my yoga training certification, which was something I had on my bucket list but had ignored due to my day job. Simultaneously, I worked on my Instagram page (@mybutterhalf) to document my baking adventures. I've been baking for a while, but hadn't made an official menu. Populating my page regularly with updates, helped me get steady orders.

Big lessons I learnt it was important not to panic and learn to relax despite the uncertainty. It helps you think clearly and find solutions. Next, keeping yourself physically active and fit and eating right helps improve the mood and sleep well.

What now At the moment, I am busy baking goodies for Christmas and counting my blessings, as the comforting aroma of desserts wafts through my home.

'My heart cracked open for love to flow'

Vaibhav Talwar's new buddy

Vaibhav Talwar, actor
in October, Lost a stray cat he had been feeding

Accepting the truth Billu was a stray whom I had been feeding and interacting with for about two months. So, I never really thought of him as my own, or so I had told myself! When he died, my initial reaction was denial. But, that lasted for 15 minutes. I was heart broken and angry. He was hit by a speeding car in the wee hours and left to die by the side of the road. Billu had become my good morning and goodnight buddy, as he slept under my window, on my air conditioner. So, to be without him made the nights particularly difficult.

Small changes Another cat appeared at my window only a couple of days later. She helped me pick up the broken pieces of my spirit. I call her Sammy the stray. She was pregnant and starving, so I started feeding her and she stayed. I am a morning person, so I would seek Sammy out first thing in the morning. It helped elevate my mood.

Big lessons I had never really owned a pet. Although I like animals, I have never really empathised, I think, with the plight of stray dogs and cats. But, after meeting and losing Billu, my heart has cracked open and the love now flows infinitely.

What now Sammy the stray has three kittens. All four keep me quite busy and entertained.

'Your loss is as big or small as you make it'

Nona Walia doesn't miss her morning walks. It helps her think clearly

Nona Walia, journalist
Lost job of 24 years in April 2020

Accepting the truth When I tried to process the loss, reality came as a rude shock. As a journalist covering health, I had written about positivity. Now was the time to implement it. In the initial days, I was in surrounded by darkness, but I realised it was up to me how bad I wanted to feel. I began by building new personal structures and rituals. Every day, I would allow some moments to process my feelings and then forget about them. It was a great way to heal. A beautiful life was waiting on the other side of feelings of guilt and pain. I would listen to the Gurbani in the morning.

Small changes I started going for a daily walk in the park, I cooked, baked and started helping others who were facing loss. I signed up for an online course in the Science of Wellbeing from Yale, and Psychological First Aid from Johns Hopkins University. I kept my happiness index high. Small things like a dessert, a cup of coffee, gardening, indulging in home décor allowed me to protect my creative side. I immersed myself in Urdu poetry, and tried to learn Korean.

Big lessons Nobody will come and make you feel better. It's your responsibility. Every moment brings a million opportunities. Life has a plan. Go with the flow. I stay free from resentment and, high on energy. When I will look back, I don't want the job loss to be the defining moment. l used three strategies—being self-oriented (raising your self-esteem), existential (giving meaning to my life), and self-continuity (feeling a connection between my past and working on my present self). To survive a storm, find a higher purpose.

What now I have been occupied with freelancing and have started a wellness channel on YouTube. I've collaborated with wellness experts around the globe to help people heal emotionally in the pandemic.

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