SUNDAY FUNDAY: Patriots’ Monday car crash at QB revived some forgotten feelings

New England’s loss to Kansas City a subtle reminder of how great fans have had it for just about 30 years; plus, Eric Rueb continues to be patently mediocre with his weekly NFL picks

How were you feeling last Monday night?

Was your heart racing? Nervous? Overcome by a sense of dread every time Brian Hoyer took a snap? Overjoyed by the most basic of gains that you don’t normally celebrate? Have a shortness of breath, chills or fatigue?

If you said yes to the last question, you need a COVID test.

If you said yes to the first four, then welcome to the new normal.

Watching Monday night’s game was a thrillride Patriots fans haven’t been able to experience in Week 4 of the regular season in almost two decades.

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One of the joys of being able to watch Tom Brady play quarterback was a feeling of overconfidence knowing that you didn’t have to worry about a quarterback costing you the game. Brady was good for one or two stinkers a year where he’d go from superhuman to average and when those happened, he was torched for having the gall to be mediocre.

Mediocrity might have beaten the Chiefs Monday night.

It’s hard not to blame the fanbase for forgetting what it’s like to not watch a Hall-of-Fame caliber quarterback play the position. There’s a good portion of the fanbase who doesn’t know anything but, considering it’s been Drew Bledsoe follow by Brady since 1993. While Bledsoe wasn’t the GOAT, he was still a player who gave the Patriots a chance to win every Sunday – when he wasn’t holding the ball too long or rifling picks trying to throw the ball through defenders instead of around them.

Monday’s KC game had a sick sense of fun, like sticking your tongue on a nine-volt battery. With Brian Hoyer starting and Jarrett Stidham behind him, expectations were low. You could actually rationalize Hoyer’s inexplicable brain fart when he forgot how many timeouts there were because the Patriots went into the break down 6-3 in a game that was supposed to be a blowout.

It was hard to get overly upset over the loss because, in reality, Monday was a game the Patriots were never supposed to win. The missed calls certainly didn’t help matters, but the bottom line is bad QB play isn’t going to win you many games in the NFL, nevermind again one of the best teams in the league.

Patriots found this out the hard way Monday, but it could be a lot worse.

Can you even imagine having to deal with watching that type of play for 20 years, never knowing what you’re going to get? Watching with dread knowing nothing good is going to happen because your QB stinks? Just waiting for everything to turn back into a pumpkin at the least opportune time?

This is why people hate the Patriots and the fanbase.

For 20 years, Patriots fans haven’t had to worry about things like that. Hopefully when Cam Newton Supermans right in COVID’s grill, things can go back to normal again.

On to the picks.

CAROLINA at ATLANTA (-2, O/U 54)

Working at the ProJo is my dream job, but now my dream includes the same job security Dan Quinn has.

THE PICK: Panthers 35, Falcons 34

LAS VEGAS at KANSAS CITY (-13, O/U 56.5)

After Stephen Gilmore tested positive for COVID, I imagine people in the NFL offices reacted to that screenshot of him and Patrick Mahomes postgame the same way that Coventry firefighter did when Tim White rolled up with videos of him golfing on the clock.

THE PICK: Chiefs 30, Raiders 20

That's Stephon Gilmore with Mahomes. pic.twitter.com/wY2GECSHgX

— ProFootballTalk (@ProFootballTalk) October 7, 2020

ARIZONA at NEW YORK JETS (+7, O/U 47)

Officially all-in on the Jets 0-16 season getting them Trevor Lawrence with Sam Darnold coming to New England. Consider this me speaking it into existence.

THE PICK: Cardinals 35, Jets -7

PHILADELPHIA at PITTSBURGH (-7, O/U 44)

The fly on Mike Pence’s head has a better chance of winning the 2020 election than the "first place" Eagles do of winning a Super Bowl this year.

THE PICK: Steelers 28, Eagles 17

Mike Pence's fly from VP debate is now a Halloween costume https://t.co/hGNlpgoxHv pic.twitter.com/FDJKA2yVDq

— New York Post (@nypost) October 8, 2020

LOS ANGELES RAMS at WASHINGTON (+7, O/U 45.5)

In his BET documentary, DMX said he held up people with a pitbull instead of a gun because "bullets can miss; a dog will always catch you." I relate this to how Kyle Allen feels if given the choice of playing in traffic or going against Aaron Donald.

THE PICK: Rams 34, Redskins 13

CINCINNATI at BALTIMORE (-13, O/U 51)

This couldn’t be more of a mismatch if it was Skyline Chili vs. Crab Cakes.

THE PICK: Ravens 34, Browns 18

JACKSONVILLE at HOUSTON (-6, O/U 54.5)

If Belichick can extract Deshaun Watson from the Texans, it’s safe to assume Jack Easterby is a sleeper cell agent sent by the Hooded One, right?

THE PICK: Texans 28, Jaguars 20

Afternoon Games

MIAMI at SAN FRANCISCO (-9, O/U 49.5)

Don’t know why the Dolphins are still playing Fitzmagic. There isn’t enough Fitzmagic in the world to save the Dolphins season, so it would be better if Tua Time started sooner rather than later. Also, I have a better chance of running a 6 minute mile than spelling his last correctly.

THE PICK: 49ers 27, Dolphins 17

INDIANAPOLIS at CLEVELAND (+1.5, O/U 46)

Shouldn’t have been a shock to see Odell Beckham show up in a big way against a big-name opponent like he did vs. Dallas last week. Against Indy for a late Sunday game? Hello 3-35 and a lot of on-field yelling.

THE PICK: Browns 28, Colts 26

NEW YORK GIANTS at DALLAS (-9.5, O/U 54)

If the Cowboys’ D gives up more than 20 to the Giants, they get to play with an extra defender for the rest of the season.

THE PICK: Cowboys 40, Giants 11

Sunday Night Football

MINNESOTA at SEATTLE (-7, O/U 57)

As a Russell Wilson fantasy football owner, I’m can’t have two touchdown performances anymore. Like trying to feed me school lunch salisbury steak after I’ve been eating filet for three weeks.

THE PICK: Seahawks 34, Vikings 24

Monday (Early Evening and) Night Football

DENVER at NEW ENGLAND (-8, O/U 47.5)

This is not gonna be pretty. Belichick has a terrific record against rookie QBs and with how the defense played vs. Patrick Mahomes, I’d say Brett Rypien is in more trouble than his uncle used to be against the Giants. Offensively, lots of hand-offs, let the clock run and win ugly because they’re worth the same as a blowout.

THE PICK: Patriots 17, Broncos 14

LOS ANGELES CHARGERS at NEW ORLEANS (-7.5, O/U 50.5)

If Tom Brady was falling off a cliff he just got passed by Drew Brees on his way down. Brees would have crashed already but Alvin Kamara is a pretty good parachute.

THE PICK: Saints 34, Chargers 22

Tuesday Night Football

BUFFALO at TENNESSEE (+6.5, O/U 47)

Mike Vrabel is handling COVID worse than Donald Trump did. At some point the NFL is going to have to do something other than acting like the dog in burning house meme.

THE PICK: Bills 27, Titans 20

LAST WEEK’S RESULT

vs. Spread: 10-5

Over/Under: 5-10

OVERALL

vs. Spread: 31-32

Over/Under: 29-34

erueb@providencejournal.com

(401) 277-7340

On Twitter: @EricRueb