“I had no idea ‘clean information’ was even a thing,” says Jack Dikian of Mosman. “Lately, I’m noticing the term is being bandied around to mean everything from factual reporting by the press, websites carrying only clean jokes, and articles lacking references to porn. But it had to happen, in the midst of a pandemic, one technology company is guaranteeing that the information they store about their clients is free of COVID-19. They must have updated their Norton Antivirus subscription.” Probably, but let’s not argue over Symantecs.

“Reading about the oversized huntsman in the shower (C8), reminded me of a day in my childhood, donkey’s years ago, when we arrived to stay at our usual holiday flat in Coolum,” writes Jan Perry of Chatswood West. “My Dad visited the outdoor toilet and came back to tell us that they had put a carpet in. Most impressed, we went with him to check it out. Curled up inside was a carpet snake.”

Colin Mortimer of Gilead will be brief: “My Chesty Bonds (C8) also come from Cambodia (C8), but my sports briefs now come from Indonesia and they seem to have shrunk and become hipsters. After umpteen years of wearing the same size, new ones are suddenly too short. An Indonesian error? Complaints to Bonds have been met with indifference. Anyone else with this experience?”

“Donald Trump might think that November Rain is the greatest music video of all time, but I still think his signature tune for rallies should be the Beatles’ The Fool on the Hill. The title says it all,” says George Zivkovic of Northmead. Republicans prefer Can You Take Me Back?

The other George in the room, Manojlovic of Mangerton (C8), was pondering the plight of the pear when things don’t go well: “What shape do they assume?” he asked. Jonty Grinter of Katoomba thinks: “When things aren’t going too well for pears, George, they become confused and go spare.” David Gordon of Cranebrook asks: “Could it be that they go bananas?”

“Forget dogs and cricket (C8),” declares Allan Gibson of Cherrybrook. “Now Alan Kohler has turned his mind to canine pursuits judging by the two books on his desk for Tuesday’s ABC Finance Report – Being a Dog and In Defence of Dogs. So what do dogs have to do with investing? The term ‘dog’ sometimes refers to underperforming stocks. And that’s finance.”

Column8@smh.com.au

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