HYDERABAD:  September 10 is World Suicide Prevention Day and National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) has released its data a few days ago which says that every four minutes a person died by suicide in 2019. But there are those who have survived and tell the tale of their survival. Mitali, 29, faced severe emotional and mental violence at her home from the time she was 18 years old.

Two years ago she escaped from her home in Indore, Madhya Pradesh and shifted base to Hyderabad. She’s been s u f fering from Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) for several years. She holds a graduate degree in Computer Science and got a job in a startup. She’d plunge deep into dark moods combined with panic attacks and extreme sense of loneliness.

She tried killing herself by consuming sleeping pills. Her attempt was defused at the last moment. Her saviour was Sufi music. She has a bit of an artistic temperament and had gone to Taramati Baradari the last year in December to attend a performance at t h e music festival Ruhaniyat. Over there she listened to songs by the late Bhai Nirmal Singh, a musician and priestly singer from Amritsar. She ended up recording it on her phone. The night she decided to kill herself it was the singer’s voice which diverted her attention.

Soft notes saved her life
Shares Mitali, “He was singing those mystical songs in Punjabi and I don’t even understand the language. But I’d play the clip again and again as I have insomnia and his music kept me calm on several occasions.

That day also I was listening to his music, my thoughts drifted to my family, who were abusing my finances and weren’t even letting me marry.

In a dark moment, I felt so alone and miserable that I just decided to kill myself and end it all. The clip I was listening was on a loop and started playing again.

The tune, the voice was so intense that I began weeping. And it cleansed something in me. Held me from killing myself. I felt a sense of peace and slept off.” For her to define the momentariness in a true sense is difficult, but it saved her life.

She’s off medication now but still goes for counselling. She adds, “After that night, something settled in my mind on its own. I feel more connected to myself and my life. I have started accepting that my trauma was a painful chapter and is another experience in my life.”

Small steps
If for Mitali it was music, for others it can be a kind sentence, touch of a pet or realisation of a purpose in one’s life. Says Nelson Vinod Moses, the founder of Suicide Prevention India Foundation, “In most of the cases people do not want to end their lives. It’s the crisis that they want to get rid of. Nine out of 10 survivors do not want to kill themselves the second time they attempt suicide.

Once they are aware of their own emotional resilience or get any kind of support, be it therapy or support from family and friends they can see the crisis from a different perspective to understand that suicide is not the solution.” So, there’s light at the end of the tunnel. That’s how when 32-year-old corporate executive Lavanya P was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), she was scared of her own life.

She couldn’t live with herself and one day made a wound at her wrist and sent the photograph as a metaphorical representation to her friend in Mumbai. In turn, her friend Diya immediately alerted other friends and Lavanya’s mother. The very next day she herself flew down to Hyderabad. “My friend constantly kept in touch with me over the phone.

Other friends arrived along with my mother. Suddenly, there were so many people who were there for me offering their unconditional love. Even my ex-partner visited me. I realised that life is bigger than my problems.”

NOT A HAPPY PICTURE
India’s National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) publishes yearly reports on suicides, and its report for the year 2019 shows that 139,123 Indian citizens killed themselves by suicide. As per the data published by the World Health Organization (WHO) India, has the greatest number of suicide deaths in the South East Asia

— Saima Afreen saima@newindianexpress.com @Sfreen