Parenting an only child: When you are your child’s friend, teacher and parent during the pandemic

It has been more than 8 months since the coronavirus pandemic was first reported in Wuhan, China and it is safe to say that the impact of the disease transcends age, wealth and fame. We are all vulnerable, not only to the disease but also to the aftermath of the illness ravaging the world. While the stress and uncertainty of the pandemic has definitely taken a toll on people’s mental health across the globe, parenting during the pandemic is a whole new ballgame. There are meals to be cooked, dishes to be washed, presentations to be made, work calls to be attended and your kids to be taught and fed.

However, if you are raising an only child, there is a unique struggle of keeping the child busy when an online class is not in session and he comes to you with ‘What do I do now?” face. You are reminded of the fact that it has been close to 8 months since your child met other kids his age. So, you juggle between work and household chores and hope to carve out enough time to entertain your little one and keep him engaged.

There is no denying that the lockdown period is hampering the opportunity for social, cognitive and emotional development of the kids. It can be especially harder for an only child, who in the absence of regular school sessions and playdates, may solely rely upon his parents to be their new playmates. When your child is cooped at up home, with no one but two adults to keep him company, sooner or later he may begin to miss the physicality and experience of being around other children. At this point, the first thing you need to do is to stop the guilt from sneaking in and remember you are functioning during the times of social isolation, loneliness and financial troubles and other woes.

Just because your kid is an only child, does not necessarily mean that he is a lonely child too. Before you set out to plan your kid’s day in a manner that he doesn’t get bored or feels lonely at some point, you need to remember that no one can be kept engaged and entertained 24 into 7. At a certain point of the day, you have to let your child just be and let him do whatever he wants to keep himself busy. Whether it is reading a book, doing crossword puzzles, drawing, painting or playing with his toys. Being bored is a wonderful thing. It is an opportunity for your kid to rack his brains and do something creative and imaginative. Remember, being bored or being an only child does not equate being lonely. If anything, now is the time you can arm your child with the art of developing a very imaginative inner life.

Parents, the bottom line is to remember that you indeed have your hands full. In between work commitments, financial concerns, household chores to ensuring that your child does not fall behind in class, it is time to let go of the guilt that you are not doing enough. In addition to playing with your kid, you can also ensure that your child regularly interacts with his friends, cousins, peers etc. Interacting with other kids of his age, even virtually can help your child slowly adjust to the new normal. In the absence of physical playtime with other kids, online games and virtual get-togethers with his buddies can be the next best thing. You can also set up a fixed time for your kid, where you will be available to play with him/her without any distractions.

Parents, instead of letting the crushing guilt get to you, take it as an opportunity to spend more time with your little one and develop a deeper bond with him. You don’t have to try and replace his playmates, rather just have to be a parent who knows how to engage in a child’s world of dragons, dinosaurs and dolls. And in case, nobody has told you today, let us tell you that you are doing the best you can for your child!