Vinyl Safari: 1986 Pontiac Parisienne Wagon Is Two Tons of American Pride

You're either in the mood for a woodgrain-encrusted barge with a lurid maroon velour interior, or you're not. If it's the former, this 1986 Pontiac Parisienne Safari is a treat, looking like something that rolled right off the set of The Americans. Maybe there's a microfiche filled with American stealth bomber plans in that locking compartment in the rear storage area? Only one way to find out.

If you're not into such vehicles, this is just two tons of malaise, a hulking monument to an era of low standards for American cars that the Big Three often struggled to shuffle over. We get it. Nostalgia's not everybody's drug. But there's another way to look at it.

This is also one of those classic cars that's both affordable, practical, and easy to own. While quality was never GM's strong point in this era, the basic bits here are simple and robust. There's an understressed 5.0-liter V-8 underhood that wheezes out just 165 horsepower—less than a 2020 Honda Civic 1.5T—but a reasonable level of torque (245 lb-ft) to move the Safari at a relaxed pace.

More benefits: an enormous cargo area. Cavernous. Make sure you remember to check the back forty for the kiddos in that fold-up third row when you park the thing, The rear tailgate swings to the side, a cool touch, and its window rolls up and down via the magic of electric power. The front bench seat looks like something your great uncle would fall asleep in, instantly, snoring loud enough to shake the windows. Indeed, that flat and fuzzy front bench looks incredibly comfortable even if it offers zero support.

This particular one is offered through Bring a Trailer with 98K miles showing on its odometer and in decent (but not concours) condition. There's some light corrosion underneath, a few needs, and some cosmetic weathering. But it looks like an honest car, ready for a big summer road trip that'll bore the kids to death. We love offbeat classics that combine value and practicality, and this Safari nails that formula. We expect it—and other older GM full-size sedans and wagons of the period—to sell for a reasonable amount and provide a classic car experience at a fraction of the cost of, say, a 2000 Honda Civic that recently sold for big money. (Who would have ever expected us to say that?)

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