Groom threatens to call off his wedding after his bride-to-be told him he can't have his close female friend as his 'best man' because 'it'll look weird in photos and distract the guests'

  • The US-based groom, 28, explained that he and his fiancee Jasmin got into a 'big argument' over his choice of best man, and he stormed out of their home 
  • He posted his thoughts on Reddit, and asked his fellow users if they thought he was 'being an a**hole' for refusing to back down 
  • The man admitted that he believes 24-year-old Jasmin's refusal to let his friend, Kate, 27, be his best man is the result of 'jealousy'
  • Reddit users were quick to voice their support for him, insisting that he's in the right and shouldn't have to apologize to his fiancee  

An engaged man has revealed that he has threatened to call off his wedding after his bride-to-be told him he couldn't name his female best friend as his 'best man' because it would 'be distracting to the guests'. 

The unnamed 28-year-old, who is from the US, opened up about the furious argument with his fiancee, 24, in a Reddit post, explaining that he ended up storming out of their home as a result of the fall out. 

'I proposed to my girlfriend Jasmin in March,' he revealed. 'Earlier this week she and I were talking about wedding plans and she already picked out who her bridesmaids were gonna be and was questioning me about my groomsmen to see who'd walk with who and all that.' 

Bump in the road: A US-based groom has admitted that he threatened to call off his wedding after his bride said he couldn't have a female friend as his best man (stock image)

Bump in the road: A US-based groom has admitted that he threatened to call off his wedding after his bride said he couldn't have a female friend as his best man (stock image) 

Upset: Opening up in a Reddit post, the unnamed man said that his bride-to-be insisted it would be 'distracting' to have a female best man walking alongside her bridesmaids

Upset: Opening up in a Reddit post, the unnamed man said that his bride-to-be insisted it would be 'distracting' to have a female best man walking alongside her bridesmaids

However, the groom told his fiancee that he didn't want to follow tradition and have a male best man, but instead wanted to ask his close friend Kate, 27, to fill the oh-so-important role. 

He insisted in his Reddit post - which was shared in the Am I the A**hole thread - that he and Kate have never had any kind of romantic or sexual relationship, but that they have been friends for years and that he can't imagine not having her as a part of his wedding.  

But rather than embrace the quirky choice, the bride-to-be 'freaked' and put her foot down, telling her fiance that he cannot have a woman as his best man - insisting that it would make the photos look 'weird', and that Kate walking down the aisle alongside one of the bridesmaids would be 'distracting' for the guests.  

'Jasmin kind of freaked and was really adamant about her not being the [best man],' he revealed. 'I asked her why and she listed off a lot of reasons, none of which I believe. 

'She said it'll look weird in the photos, it'll be weird when Kate has to walk down the aisle with her maid of honor, that she doesn't want Kate to be distracting to guests, that Kate's too short (wtf?) to stand next to a bunch of 6ft+ guys.  

'The reasons were ridiculous, and I told her as much. She told me I should respect her wishes for the wedding and gave me suggestions for other [best men].' 

Despite Jasmin offering up plenty of 'ridiculous' reasons for why her fiance can't have a female best man, the groom said he knows the 'real reason might be jealousy', although he admitted that he didn't want to drop the issue, explaining that he wasn't willing to 'go along with her insecurities'.  

Support: Dozens of Reddit users agreed with the man's actions, insisting that he is well within his rights to choose his own best man

Support: Dozens of Reddit users agreed with the man's actions, insisting that he is well within his rights to choose his own best man 

Instead, the couple got into a 'big argument', with the man confessing that he eventually left their apartment and has been 'couch surfing at a friend's for the past couple of days'. 

'Jas was upset that I wasn't budging on my stance and I was mad she was acting so irrational,' he explained. 'She was being really accusatory about why I wanted Kate in the wedding so bad. I finally told her if she doesn't want to let me have this one thing maybe there shouldn't be a wedding at all. 

'She got really angry and told me to just leave our apartment.'

Since their fight, the man said he has tried to talk to Jasmin, who 'asked if he was ready to apologize' - admitting that he told her 'no' because he doesn't 'want her to think she was right' about refusing to let him choose his own best man.      

He continued: 'And before anyone asks, no, Kate and I have never been sexual or romantic. She's been one of my closest friends and introduced me to my current social circle (I used to be an awkward nerdy guy who had trouble making friends, now I'm an awkward nerdy guy with a social life).

'We survived grad school together and she's been with me through high and low parts of life and it seems insane to not include her in my wedding. Jas and Kate know each other but aren't friends, and over time Jas got used to me having a close female friend without being jealous/mistrusting, or so I thought.' 

The man asked for the opinions of his fellow Reddit users, questioning whether they felt he was in the wrong, or whether he had acted reasonably - with the majority of responses confirming that he'd done exactly what they would have done in the same situation. 

Look out: One person warned the man that his fiancee's behavior is a 'red flag' for the future

Look out: One person warned the man that his fiancee's behavior is a 'red flag' for the future

'This wedding is just as much your day as it is hers, and you absolutely deserve to have someone up there that you trust as your Best Wo/Man,' one person wrote. 

'Your fiance needs to not only recognize that, but figure out whatever insecurity is causing her to lash out in this manner.'

Another added: 'I really don’t think it’s insecurities as much as wanting a picture perfect “traditional wedding party”...bridezilla. But what will OTHER people think! And the pictures won’t match man, woman...she said it herself...when she mentioned them walking down the aisle.' 

One woman commented to say that, if she were in the man's position and her future spouse banned her from having her male friends in her wedding party, she would be furious. 

'I’m always fascinated by disputes like this. I’m a woman. Where I’m at in my life right now, I have very few female friends, certainly none close enough for a position like that,' she wrote.

'So if my partner freaked out when I had male bridesmaids, we’d have issues. Not to mention that I date men and women, so... are they going to get jealous of anyone I chose??'

One user warned the man to consider his fiancee's behavior as a serious 'red flag', saying: 'I'd put my foot down and not budge. The only compromise I can think of is that neither of you get a Best Wo/Man. Problem solved.' 

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Bride-to-be refuses to let her groom have a female friend as his best man

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