Keeping up with quitters

CHENNAI: “Two packs, 20 cigarettes, every day for twenty years — it has a certain ring to it, doesn’t it? That’s what I thought until I turned 40. Back in the day, smoking was a symbol, a statement of sorts. So when I took the first drag of cigarette when I turned 20, to celebrate my initiation into adulthood, I felt liberated. Especially for a woman coming from a family of teetotallers (who were also conservative), it was a big deal. I did not pay much heed to all the stigma attached to it. I was quite rebellious,” says Margaret Williams, a 60-year-old retired banker. 

What started as a playful, curiosity-induced attempt at “exploring and experiencing life” turned into a health-threatening, life-altering addiction for Margaret. “It took a while for me to meet that ‘special someone’ in life. When I did, I was 38. We immediately decided to get married and start a family together. Within a year, I was pregnant but unfortunately, I had a miscarriage. When we consulted our doctor, we were told that smoking for such a prolonged period could have been one of the factors for the miscarriage. It took me almost six months to come to terms with what the addiction had done to me. I picked myself up and decided to bid adieu to what caused me pain,” she says, almost tearing up.

On the eve of her 40th birthday, Margaret resolved to quit smoking. “We threw everything away — from cigarette packets, lighters to whatnots. But it wasn’t a cakewalk. I was always irritable, used to have recurrent headaches and breathlessness. Nicotine patches became my best friends. But Williams was supportive through it all. After a few relapses which happened in my most vulnerable moments and out of desperation,

I managed to overcome. It’s been 20 years since I quit smoking. I would be lying if I said that I never had the urge to pick one of those killers in my right hand and take a few puffs. But every time I did, I used to remind myself why I quit in the first place,” says the sexagenarian, who now leads a life laced with nothing but healthy practices. “Williams and I decided to remain childless after that episode. But we used all the time we had in ensuring that we stayed fit and healthy. Yoga helped me a lot in calming my mind and attaining a certain equilibrium during my smoking cessation period. We continue to practice yoga and go on retreats. Now, life is good,” she says.

Making a change
Adil Ghani, a 53-year-old entrepreneur, picked up the habit of smoking when he was in class 11. Gradually, his ‘occasional indulgence’ took a turn and manifested into an addiction. “I started smoking more than 20 cigarettes a day. Since the ban of smoking in public wasn’t prevalent in India in the 80s and early 90s, it was normal for people to smoke anywhere — in the car, inside their office premises or in their cabin. In hindsight, it makes me nauseous because I never realised what people around me might have felt while walking into a cabin that smelled of cigarettes,” he shares.

When Adil moved to Singapore in 2001 for work, he realised how harmful smoking could be for not just him but also those around him. “Singapore had by then banned public smoking in most places and I started becoming sensitive to passive smoking. In fact, it was the first time I felt that I was doing something wrong. Until then, to me, smoking was more of a ‘macho’ factor and just a habit that I wasn’t able to let go of,” he narrates.

Two years later, after returning to India, Adil became more mindful of his addiction and the impending harm that it could cause to him and his family. “My firstborn was growing up and didn’t like me smoking at home. In fact, nobody did. Despite so many years of my family and acquaintances advising me to quit smoking, the result came only when I had a moment of self-realisation. On January 1, 2003, along with a few friends, I decided to quit smoking and to this day, I haven’t picked it up even once. Whenever I felt like I was drawn to it, I used to call my friends and have a chat with them.

They advised me to carry chewing gums all the time. That way, if I felt the need to smoke, I had to pop and chew them until I could tide through the feeling and it worked!” he recounts. But beyond all the tips, advice, and methods that were shared to keep his smoking addiction at bay, what worked the best was and still does  is “fear”, says Adil. “I live with the fear — of what if one day I decide to pick a cigarette again and smoke casually? What if I go back to my old ways? That fear has kept me away from it for almost 17 years now. Today, I feel good about myself. Having been able to get over this addiction made me realise that I have the willpower to achieve anything I want. I have the fear but I am confident about myself too,” he says.  

Shared addiction
While it was loss and a sense of doom that led Margaret and Adil to call it quits, for some, like Prem Kumar and Sharon Raj, factors like parenthood have made them distance themselves from the addiction. “We are childhood sweethearts. We grew up together and shared everything in life. Unfortunately, one of them was this addiction. When we got married and had a child, we always had a fear plaguing us in the back of our minds. We couldn’t hug or kiss her after a smoke, even if it meant us waiting for a few hours,” says Sharon.

Every time they went to the movies, the statutory warning advertisement on how cigarette smoking is injurious played, made the couple queasy. “The child in the advertisement, the father with the smoking addiction… it all felt too personal. Prem and I decided to quit smoking but by taking it one day at a time. We enrolled into a few therapy sessions, took to activities like knitting and dancing to keep our mind and hands busy. We had a few relapses but we kept pulling each other up. In a span of two years, we were able to quit smoking. Now, it’s only the coronavirus-induced physical distancing keeping us apart!” she grins, as their nine-year-old child Nithya giggles in the background.

A milestone
For Vijay Chander, who turned 30 this year, his birthday was an impetus to let go of his decade-long relationship with cigarettes. In the process of adopting a better lifestyle, Vijay decided to quit smoking by adapting to the ‘Cold Turkey’ method — by giving up smoking all at once, without any substitute or aid of Nicotine Replacement Therapy (NRT). “Though there have been several instances where I’ve wanted to quit smoking, my capacity only kept multiplying over the years. But this year, I decided to do it. It was a way of testing my mental strength and willpower. I wasn’t doing it for anyone else but me,” asserts Vijay, who discarded all his cigarettes, lighters and matchboxes on January 23, 2020.

A viral eye infection came as a blessing in disguise for Vijay and made him stay indoors, not giving him the escape route to possibly make an excuse, head out and give in to the cravings induced by the withdrawal. “Quitting came with its share of challenges — I had mood swings, I was restless, I began over-eating and I had digestive issues. But I was prepared for everything. I knew this was my body’s way of recovering and I let it happen,” he says. Now, 100-odd days later, Vijay says that he’s in a better place. “I have been able to stand amid people who smoke without flinching. My stamina has increased and I’ve realised how powerful the mind is in making or breaking us,” he shares.

Sheker Kumar*, a journalist, who has been fighting the addiction for the last six months, calls smoking cessation a process. “A decade ago, I chose to smoke because there was a certain pressure building in and around me due to the education choice I had made. Smoking gave me an illusion of being able to handle the problems. Soon, it became a big part of my life and the problem — my days became more hectic, my schedule was planned around my smoke breaks.

Though I have tried quitting several times in the past, I kept going back to it. It is a challenge when your conviction — about why you decided to quit in the first place fades. That’s why it’s important to remind yourself why you quit in the first place,” he shares, adding that the habit has many a time affected his family time. “Though in my case, it didn’t create a dramatic effect or cause fights, it has deprived me of my family time. For instance, if my parents are around, rather than sitting and talking with them, I’d go out to smoke (several times a day). In essence, it becomes a prolonged me-time. Quitting is a challenge, it’s a process which needs conviction. I am in its midst,” he says.

Cigarette smoking and COVID-19

A recent survey by the Foundation for a Smoke-Free World projected that the pandemic has increased smokers’ desire to quit, as many believe that smoking increases their risk of contracting COVID-19. According to the poll, two-thirds of 1,500 smokers surveyed in India expressed a desire to quit smoking for health reasons. This trend is especially pronounced among a vast majority of younger smokers who have attempted to quit smoking during 
the lockdown. 

*Name changed on request