Designer Shyma Shetty on being a newlywed and moving to a new country in the midst of a pandemic

I must be one of the only brides to have not planned a honeymoon. The pandemic shutdowns started soon after our wedding and in retrospect, we’re so grateful that our guests could travel back to their home countries safely, right in the nick of time.

Dushyant [Dwibedy, country head at OYO] and I started dating a couple of years ago and it was almost entirely a ‘faux’ long-distance relationship. We were both living in different countries when we talked about going steady; he between Thailand and Vietnam, and me in India. When I said that I couldn’t ever do long distance, he asked me how long would the absence of a partner make it “long-distance”? We met every two weeks.

It started out as fun because both of us were buried neck-deep in work; he was building a team from scratch in South East Asia and I was running HUEMN with my co-founder and business partner [Pranav Misra] in Delhi. We took weekends off to fly and see each other. We worked remotely when we could, we met after business trips in different parts of the world, and after a dreamy proposal on a remote idyllic island, and many, many, flash vacations together, we got married in February 2020. I didn’t care for a honeymoon.

Settling in

Right now, I’m in Ho Chi Minh City with him. Lockdowns were enforced two weeks after we moved into our new apartment. I was to travel back and forth for work, between India and Vietnam, but those plans have been currently tossed out the window.

As someone who’s always lived with friends, I am enjoying having him around. We’re getting comfortable with each other’s routines (and quirks!). He’s an early riser and I like to stay up late into the night, which invariably means that I wake up to wonderful breakfasts and I get my nights to catch up on everything I want to do alone, while he softly snores beside me.

This one month has taught me that we are both essentially the same person. We enjoy similar content, we like to keep the house tidy and we are both high-energy people who constantly need to keep ourselves occupied. Usually, we’d be going out a lot; and this quarantine has made us find new activities. I’m painting voraciously and he joins in sometimes. We look up elaborate recipes and spend a few hours experimenting. In the evenings, we go on long walks around the perimeter of our building and find new spots to sit at and look at the river. That’s become our dates.

Safe at home

He’s an unwavering optimist and I joke that if the house falls down on him, he’d probably say “Oh, I never noticed how interesting the pattern on the ceiling tiles were.” I have days when I miss everyone and worry, but it’s easier because he’s so hopeful.

The internet keeps our family and friends close but the news is dreadful. It’s heartbreaking that world-over, everyone is not as comfortable; and within our privileges, I think we all carry the collective grief of the pandemic and deal with it in our own capacities.

Facebook threw up a memory today that I was walking in Ho Chi Minh City this time, last year. That was when I fell in love with the city, I think. Who would’ve thought that a year from then, I’d be staring out into it from my balcony, days on end.

I can hear him tinkering in the other room while I write this, and I’m reminded that with all the uncertainty of the future, in some ways this has become a very loving honeymoon. And whatever is going on, on the outside, there is friendship and unwavering support that holds us tight at home.

Also read:

Lisa Haydon Lalvani describes her days in lockdown with her growing family

Shobhaa De on the ups and downs of lockdown-grandparenting

Sussanne Khan opens up about co-parenting with ex-husband Hrithik Roshan during the pandemic