Prized moments

Rajalakshmi S (sanitation worker),  Sankari S (tailor)

Rajalakshmi (mother)
I don’t believe in Mother’s Day. Neither am I educated nor do I have the exposure to know about such concepts. When somebody addresses me as Amma at work or in my neighbourhood then that is sufficient to make me happy. Dignity is the most basic. People have been treating us well for our service since the lockdown and that’s more than enough. That apart, when my daughter gifts me something once in a while, I take pride in it. I wear the sari and flaunt it in front of my friends. These are small reminders that your efforts are being valued.

Sankari S (daughter)
We come from a household where women seldom feel respected, let alone special. Amma does her chores, goes for work, gets back home and repeats the same every day. I never knew something called Mother’s Day existed until I finished my class 10. After this, I discontinued studies and I took up tailoring classes. There used to be Women’s Day and Mother’s Day celebrations at our unit every year. I made a blouse for Amma the first time and gifted it to her along with a `250 cotton sari. She still has it and wears it on special days. She doesn’t understand when I wish her a happy Mother’s Day, but she has never failed to perform her duty as a mother. I gift her a cotton sari every year and this year it’s going to be a silk sari from my savings because she’s turning 50 next month.

Selva (son)
Not to sound cliched but my mother is my superhero, guardian, god, inspiration, and everything...I remember her carrying me around when she started a grocery shop 15 years back in Aminjikarai. My dad passed away when I was three years old. She had no support from family and started a business on a 100 sq ft shop. Now it’s 1,000 sq ft. She trained me in business from the time I was in class one. I learnt about Mother’s Day from a friend at school. He was wealthy and would plan a party for his mother with his father every year. All I knew was drawing. I made my first greeting card in class one. The habit continues to date. She has 15 of them in her trunk box. I also ensure that I give her a break from work on that day. We haven’t closed the shop even once, this lockdown is no exception. This year, I will also be making her favourite rava laddoo and we will be doing a movie marathon of superstar Rajnikanth’s films.

Priya Ravichandran (joint director of Tamil Nadu Fire and Rescue Service), Samhitha (class 12 student)

Priya Ravichandran (mother)
Chennai has been a sensitive zone. So far, along with my team, I have disinfected more than 2,500 locations in the city. We have also been feeding the needy, strays and birds. All these tasks are completely field-oriented and we have been working round the clock with little to no time for ourselves. But this has been the case — corona or not. In over a decade of me being in the service, I have never seen or heard my daughters asking me if I should go to work, or why I should work on the field. They ask me if we (fire officers) don’t have the concept of work from home (laughs). 

The first time I heard them ask me to not go out on the field, I was quite surprised. In some ways, I felt happy that my daughters were sharing their concerns about my well-being with me, which they otherwise don’t. But the worry of protecting my family from this is always on my mind. So, we take all the precautions at home. We sanitise ourselves, maintain social distancing and follow other guidelines. In this process, I have been channelling my maternal instincts on my team as well. Field officers have the habit of putting their lives at risk to ensure others safety. They are selfless. I constantly check-in and follow up with all the officers about their wellness, ask them if they have sanitised, remind them to take medicines, drink hot water. I boost their morale whenever necessary. Though uncertainties loom in the back of my mind, I have the responsibility of being a mother both on and off the field. 

Samhitha (daughter)
We don’t have a tradition of exclusively celebrating Mother’s Day. Every day is to be celebrated as one but this year it feels quite special. Beyond her duties as a mother, she has achieved so much more as a woman. She has been through several uncertain and life-or-death situations and emerged stronger. We have always been aware that as a frontline worker, the nature of her profession is risky and it involves saving people’s lives. So we know that it is challenging. But this COVID-19 situation is different. We are dealing with something new. So, every day, when she goes to work on the field — to disinfect the city and so on — my younger sister Sathvika and I get worried. We understand it’s her duty as an officer, but she’s our mother. I have come to terms with the situation. But Sathvika shares a closer bond with mom and she is more concerned. We cherish any time we get together as a family. When mom is home and has some time to unwind, we ensure to indulge in some activities and take our minds off the situation. This year, Mother’s Day is special. A day dedicated to her.  

Kalpana Manikandan (grocery store owner), Selva K (BCom student)

Kalpana  (mother)
Selva has been my backbone. The boy literally takes care of me like a child. I feel extra special on Mother’s Day than my birthday. This year, the business has been hectic since the lockdown. We haven’t closed it even on Sundays. My son has compromised on so many things for the sake of my happiness and safety. He accompanies me to the store every day. It’s been helpful and has relieved half the burden off my shoulder. What more do I want? Looking at his greeting cards on a dull day is an instant mood-lifter. I feel blessed.

Banumathi (pharmacist), Akshaya (BCom graduate)

Akshaya (daughter)
Amma has always been my role model. She came out of an abusive marriage and moved from Vellore to Chennai in the early 90s. She met all the pre-requisites to become a pharmacist and has been in the field since 2003. She stands behind the counter all day and only takes a lunch break. I have always been in awe of her dedication. Mother’s Day is an alien concept to her. She lost her mother when she was in her teens and was probably exposed to such a day only after she came to the city. I started celebrating Mother’s Day when I turned 16. I usually make her favourite semiya payasam and watch her favourite Tamil soaps along with her before she heads to work. This time, it’ll be different. 

I won’t be able to give her a hug in the morning or feed her payasam. We have been following physical distancing. Every day since the lockdown, she has been wearing a mask and gloves and heading to the store to dispense medicines. She’s 50 years old and she’s more energetic than I am! But yes, I worry about her health. With the cases constantly increasing, I am scared that someone who has the virus might visit the shop and that she might contract it. She is aware of the consequences too...but she says, ‘Elarume bayandhu ulla irundha, vela yaru panuvange?’ (If everyone remains indoors because of the scare, who will do these essential jobs?). 

Banumathi (mother)
The concept of Mother’s Day was introduced to me by my daughter. She makes a payasam rich with cashews every year. This time I have asked her to just make it simple with just semiya and not add any special nuts. So many people don’t have food to eat during the lockdown. I am glad that I get to work during this time. I meet my regular customers — they walk in, smile and read out their prescription. 
Knowing that they are doing well makes me happy. I am glad that there’s a lockdown. My daughter doesn’t have to go out and is safe at home. That makes me work in peace. But when I get back from work, I worry a little about not passing any virus to her. But she worries about my health because I am older. She gives the warmest hug to me every morning and I have been missing that. I can’t wait for normalcy to return. 

Moms on a mission

Nandini S (Medical officer, mother to 19-month-old Sia)

This is my second Mother’s Day. Unfortunately, I’ll not be able to celebrate it with my daughter. I am a healthcare worker and I’m constantly at the risk of being exposed to the virus. I had to leave my baby with her grandparents in Puducherry to keep her safe and away from any possibilities of contracting the virus from me. My husband and I stay in Chennai. The number of cases and rate of exposure is alarming. Because of my increased workload, I hardly get time to speak to her. All I want is to have a glimpse of her this Mother’s Day and fulfil her longing to see me. 

D Kavitha (sanitation worker in Coimbatore, mother to 14-month-old Sachin)

We don’t celebrate Mother’s Day but it has been difficult staying away from my son for so long every day. My day starts at 6 am when he isn’t awake yet and I return home by 8 pm when he is about to sleep. Before the lockdown, I had only a four-hour shift. After the lockdown, everyone in the area I work in, has been at home. More waste is being generated. Sometimes we have to go back and forth multiple times to transfer the waste. My work has definitely increased during this time. Whenever I return home, my husband tells me that my son has been asking for me the whole day. Sometimes when I come home when Sachin is awake, he shrieks with joy and doesn’t leave me till he falls asleep. My husband and I love spending time with him, but most of the time we are worried that he will get infected because of me. My husband has urged that I leave my job, but if I do, we won’t have any support when the lockdown lifts. This job is our only source of income as of now. I wear all the protective gear given to us by the GCC only so that my son stays safe and doesn’t get infected. I wish this virus is stopped and I can once again get back to being a good mother to my son.

Muthu Mary (chief nursing superintendent), Dr Monisha Deborah M, senior house officer

Muthu Mary, Monisha  (daughter)
Mother’s Day symbolises togetherness and family time. It’s been a ritual for many years to go to mummy’s favourite church in Besant Nagar followed by dinner. Mummy, daddy and I are healthcare workers, and have been working six days a week. Mummy is caring and selfless. It’s an off for all of us this Sunday. We’ve decided to cook a simple meal, chit-chat, and probably have a video call with my brother who’s pursuing his higher education in Florida. She’s a fan of simple gestures and treasures the poems I’ve written for her since childhood. 

Muthu  Mary (mother)
My son was about to fly back to the country just before the lockdown but he’s stuck there. I will miss him on Mother’s Day. However, nothing like spending the whole day with family after slogging for the rest of the week. Even a greeting card can lift my mood. I like handmade gifts over a gala any day. Secondly, our profession is such that it gives a motherly feel whenever we attend to a patient and when they express their gratitude in return. I’m blessed that way. It’s a proud Mother’s Day to those who are putting their work ahead of family and themselves. Service is first, safety is second.

Dr Premalatha (consultant, obstetrician and gynaecologist, Fortis Malar Hospital),  Adithya, class 
12 student

Premalatha (mother)
Initially, when the news of coronavirus started making the rounds, we weren’t too worried. It was new and we weren’t aware of it. But the real scare began when the cases started increasing in the city. As a mother, my first thought and concern was to not contract the virus — not for my sake but for that of my children. Being an obstetrician, my hospital visits depend on the patient-visit schedule and the number of delivery cases that come in. So on some days, I go to the hospital five or six times. This means following sanitation protocols at home the same number of times. When I go home from the hospital, I sanitise myself, take a shower, wash the clothes in hot water and sanitise again.

Doing that so many times a day makes it hectic. During the initial days of the lockdown, I isolated myself in a room. I was worried about my children and didn’t want to infect them in any way. Though my sons were understanding, after a point, they started missing my presence. They said: ‘Ma, we are young, nothing will happen to us, please come out.’ We don’t celebrate Mother’s Day, but isn’t this love? It was a tough decision to make. But I decided to step out ensuring my contact is minimal. To not be able to be around your children without the fear of the virus is hard. But I cannot give up my duty as a doctor. My specialisation involves maternity, I will be helping another mother with similar fears and anxieties.

Adithya (son)
I am quite proud that my mom is working even during the pandemic. But my brother Siddarth and I sometimes feel scared too. When she has to go to the hospital multiple times a day to attend to her patients, we always hope that she comes back in good health. Initially, she isolated herself in a room. But my brother wasn’t happy with it. Living under a roof, but being separated by a wall is the worst. So now, with adequate physical distance, she chats with us and spends time when she can. When mom is at home, we watch movies, play Sudoku and we go to the terrace to watch the sunset. We are not a Mother’s-Day-celebrating family. We don’t have any plans in place.But as long as we are able to spend time together and revel in the joy of each other’s well-being, what more can we ask for?  

Elakiya Sivakuamr (doctor), and Malarkuzhali Sivakumar

Dr Elakiya Sivakumar (daughter)
My work at the maternity hospital does involve the risk of exposure to the virus. I make sure to follow all safety precautions. At the hospital, I wear a mask, apron and gloves. When I come home, I go straight to the bathroom for a shower. This is what I can do to keep my mother reassured. I want to make Mother’s Day special for her. Usually, we go out, watch a movie or make it a girl’s night (leaving my dad and brother behind). This time, it is going to be indoors but I suppose it will be more special given how personal and private it will get. I’ll probably cook her something; I’m planning to involve my dad and brother too!

Malarkuzhali Sivakumar (mother)
When the whole world is under lockdown, many people working from home and others shut indoors, my daughter has to go to work at the hospital. In one way, I am proud that my daughter is doing this because she is in a noble profession. Yet, I am slightly worried because of the dreadful coronavirus. This year, Mother’s Day is going to be different. I usually find this day to be more materialistic than emotional. During this lockdown, the only way we can observe it is with love, emotions and our presence. My kids will have to find simple ways to express their love — with a kiss or their culinary skills. 

Inputs by Naaz Ghani, Kannalmozhi Kabilan, Roshne Balasubramanian and Vaishali Vijaykumar