Queerantine: How India’s LGBTQ+ community is surviving the lockdown

In part two of our series, three LGBTQ+ Indians open up on life in lockdown, from the daily struggles to the things that keep them going. For many queer folx, friends are the family they choose, but the coronavirus, which has us all confined to our homes, has isolated the queer community (which thrives on social interactions with its peers) in a different way.

As Mumbai-based psychologist Sonali Gupta notes in Part 1, “Many queer folx don’t feel accepted and understood in their own homes. And now, with COVID-19, they feel they have lost community support, which has only heightened their sense of loneliness and isolation.”

At present, unable to partake in the lives they have fashioned for themselves, three youngsters tell Vogue about the ups and downs of being queer in the time of the coronavirus and the challenges it brings.  

Bidisha Mohanta, 23

Non-binary; she/they

Singer-songwriter Bidisha Mohanta caught the country’s attention two years ago as a contestant on India’s Got Talent 8 (2018), where they not only dazzled with their powerhouse vocals, but came out publicly and used the platform to bring to light queer rights and representation too. They also founded Desi Drag Kings, which aims to shed light on the lesser-known community via projects and performances.  

On the challenges the lockdown brings

I thrive on meaningful interactions. The creativity that flows when I’m in the company of like-minded people is incomparable, so being unable to do this is taking a toll on my mental health. I was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and the lockdown has made me look inwards to uproot the recurrent negative thought patterns that are detrimental to my psychological well-being.  

On navigating love and physicality (or the absence of it)

I’m in Kolkata with my family, while my partner is in Mumbai. She visited me before the lockdown was announced and we spent two days locked in each other’s arms. Our relationship has now turned into a long-distance one, with texts and phone calls acting as our only resort. My mum is still on the fence about accepting my relationship with my partner wholeheartedly, but I have unconditional support from my dad and brother.

How the lockdown has affected work and their ability to earn

I can make music at home, but studio sessions are now on an indefinite hold, as are two other big entertainment ventures that I’m supposed to be part of. So earning money is also on hold.

On overcoming the hurdle of being separated from the community

Even though I’m liking this newfound bond with my family, I can’t wait for this lockdown to be over so that I can be with my “Moppas” (a portmanteau of momma and poppa, as coined in the series Transparent), my chosen parents. For those of us who find solace in our chosen families, this is a trying time. All we can do is be there for one another in the form of peer support.

Farhad Karkaria, 34

Bisexual; he/him

Farhad Karkaria is a freelance content writer and screenwriter as well as the co-host of the celebrated podcast GAYBCD, which tackles topics ranging from fashion and politics to ageing, dating, and infidelity.

On how self-isolation has affected him  

I’ve pretty much been a wreck for a majority of my adult life (I was clinically diagnosed with bipolar disorder 2, manic depressive and anxiety disorders over a decade ago), but this period of self-isolation has been an eye-opener. I’ve surprised myself by how well I’m dealing with everything life is throwing my way. As someone who’s often been a victim to sudden panic attacks and debilitating bipolar cycles, there’s something about the entire planet collectively going to shit that has alleviated the things I’ve felt so strongly for so many years. I don’t know if this stems from the classic “Misery loves company” expression or that it took a pandemic to give us perspective on what’s important in life.  

On something new he learnt about himself

This time has taught me that self-love is a daily practice. It has also managed to dismantle the walls I’ve built around myself; I’m now willing to put myself out there more and put more effort into my existing and future friendships and relationships.

On the day-to-day

I’ve been watching friends and family develop cabin fever pretty quickly, but I feel like I have been unknowingly preparing for a situation like this all my life. I am so good at keeping myself entertained and being alone that self-isolation hasn’t affected my sanity. I cook and plan every meal, clean, play with my cat, read, and catch up on all the sleep that depression and anxiety have stolen from me for years. I’ve been revisiting things I loved over the years and forgot about, from Matilda to Being John Malkovich, Harry Potter to Flowers For Algernon—all the things that made me feel deeply at a point in my life and that I somehow forgot about over time.

On the biggest hurdle facing the LGBTQ+ community at a time like this

Losing our sense of “community." The reality of all crises and emergencies is that it puts the most vulnerable and marginalised at the greatest risk: I’ve been reading horror stories of how the pandemic has affected trans folx across the globe. It is important to use this time as a litmus test of our own privilege and educate ourselves about how a situation like this can affect us as a community in every possible way.  

Dan Rebello, 27

Asexual polyromantic, trans non-binary; he/they

Thane-based Dan Rebello is a primary school teacher with a degree in history and English, and the co-creator of @thanequeercollective, which aims to create a safe space for the city’s queer folx.

On the challenges the lockdown brings

I live with my parents and I’ve had a rough time since the beginning of the lockdown. They know about me, but aren’t accepting of my identity and often make fun of me and bully me. Before the lockdown, I often stayed out after work to avoid being with them, choosing to spend the evening at a cafe and return home by 10pm. Now I have no choice but to tolerate their taunts and their bullying. Some days everything is okay, while others are filled with dread. I feel as though I am living in a dystopian movie; my biggest challenge is to not give in to my spiralling brain and lose my mind.  

On love and support

I have a long-term partner who lives in Delhi. We’ve been in a long-distance relationship for a year, so dealing with this isn’t any different. Both of us identify as asexual, so the whole physical aspect has never been a problem. We’ve calibrated our relationship in a certain way, coming up with things that suit us, well before the lockdown started.

On their mental health

I have an anxiety disorder and I had been undergoing therapy for two years, till November 2019. I resumed again in February because I was disturbed by what happened with the Trans Bill—the state of the country and the subsequent effects it’s going to have on my life affects me.  

What keeps them up at night

The lack of conversation surrounding the large-scale homelessness facing the trans community. We need resources and personnel who can help them find shelter and safe spaces.  

Getting through it

I have a circle of trans and non-binary friends and we schedule comfort calls every week where we get together and share our feelings. My fellow co-creators [of @thanequeercollective] Kris and Kani are busy planning online activities on our Instagram. I conduct live story reading sessions on my personal account, which helps, and spend a lot of time painting, but I will run out of canvas soon. I also keep reminding myself that the world is going through this together; it’s mentally and emotionally exhausting for everyone. So it’s okay if there are days when the only thing we do is manage to get out of bed and make breakfast.  

Also read:

LGBTQ+ Indians on navigating self-isolation, love and mental health in the time of the coronavirus

LGBTQ+ voices from around the world who won't be silenced

5 queer Indian influencers you should be following on Instagram