‘No cold feet here... Don’t let covid19 derail your wedding’

MELENA SIMON-O’NEIL

The world’s reliance on responsible social distancing as a measure to combat the covid19 pandemic has forced the cancellation of weddings and events across the globe.

In TT the government has taken measures to prohibit mass gatherings of more than five people and restaurants and bars have been shuttered until April 30, in the first instance. On March 22 the borders were closed to all incoming passengers.

In light of these restrictions, couples who had booked weddings in March and April were forced to make alternative wedding and honeymoon plans, while those getting married in May, June, July and August are all nervously monitoring the developments and trying to determine their next move.

Accepting that you have to postpone or cancel your wedding is an incredibly emotional reality that many couples are now facing. But as difficult as this time may be, your health and that of your family, friends and loved ones is most important.

Couples who were scheduled to get married in the next eight weeks are faced with the following options:

Postpone to a later date

Cancel the entire wedding

Proceed with an intimate ceremony and postpone the reception or

Elope

Making such an important decision in the midst of all the uncertainty can be distressing and you may not know where to start. Here is some advice to help you figure out how to move forward with your big day once you’ve reviewed the most recent official news, restrictions and recommendations regarding covid19.

Before deciding to postpone or cancel, first gather and verify the facts. There is a lot of misinformation passing around, especially on social media, so:

Don’t panic. Actively seek to obtain information about covid19 and guidelines and restrictions applicable to weddings, events and travel in TT from reputable sources only. The World Health Organization, the Ministry of Health, the Ministry of National Security and the Ministry of Communications are the recognised credible sources of information locally so they would be the best place to start.

Don’t cancel love. Talk to your fiancé. Share your thoughts and feelings, discuss options for the way forward but most importantly, keep the love burning. Covid19 can’t and shouldn’t cancel love, so spend this time connecting and planning for your future together. Intimate at home date-nights and spending quality time together are so important at this time. Consider cooking each other dinner, arrange a backyard picnic for two, host a games night, give each other massages or perhaps play a sport. Be sure to take the necessary precautions to keep safe if venturing outdoors.

Solicit advice and support from your wedding planner. If you have hired a planner, then by now s/he would probably have reached out to you to provide some reassurance and guidance. Your planner is your ally, advocate and greatest cheerleader who is well trained to manage crisis, even unprecedented ones. If you do not have a planner, then reach out to a reputable local professional for help. Many planners and wedding vendors are collaborating on pro bono covid19 response projects and should offer you a free consultation.

Review your contracts. Now is the time to review the cancellation or change of date clauses in your vendor contracts. The details of your existing contractual agreement between you and each supplier should provide you with explicit insights and dictate if you are liable to pay balances or are entitled to refunds depending on how late you cancel or decide to postpone. However, in light of the current situation, most suppliers and vendors should want to work with you to renegotiate a new wedding date (once possible) rather than have you cancel. Each vendor will have a different policy, however, so spend some time reviewing the fine print to get a clearer idea of your options.

Contact your vendors. Like your wedding planner, your wedding vendors will most likely understand your difficult situation and be open to granting you exemptions and waiving cancellation and change of date fees in most instances. The entire industry is working together to assist couples in your situation. Again, it would be advisable that you postpone rather than cancel as most vendors will be more willing to credit your deposits to a new date rather than offer a full refund if you cancel. Of course, each vendor and the circumstances of each couple vary, so reach out to your vendors at the earliest possible time. While the cancellation clauses would normally outline some penalty or fee in usual circumstances, most vendors should grant special exemptions. Explore what these exemptions may be as well as the vendors’ availability for the two or three alternative dates that you may be considering.

Reach out to your wedding guests. Whether postponing or cancelling, it’s important for you to communicate with your guests immediately and provide them with an update. If you have a wedding website then that’s ideal. If not, then use email or text to reach guests. Those travelling from abroad may be particularly anxious about local travel restrictions, hotel refunds and their safety. If you have not yet made a decision, inform them of such and reassure them that you will provide an update on your decision as soon as possible. If you have made a decision, then you can draft a letter outlining the circumstances, your decision and where they can obtain updates and send to your guest .Be prepared that not all guests will be able to attend on a new date even if they wanted to. This is beyond your control so chose a new date and stick with it.

Contact your travel agent/hotel/airline. Review honeymoon arrangements. Like TT, many countries have implemented strict travel guidelines within the last days and weeks. Given the risk to staff and employees, many leading hotel chains in the region have decided to close their doors as well. While a honeymoon in Tobago is still a possibility as the inter-island air and sea bridge are still open, the government has asked that travel between the islands be restricted to essential travel only and the situation can change without notice. If your honeymoon was planned for the next few weeks, call your travel agent immediately to explore what options you have should you cancel or postpone. Most major airlines are waiving change of date fees and allowing customers to rebook flights for travel at a later date. Hotels have been doing the same. Each airline and each hotel policy is different so please speak to your travel agent before proceeding. If you booked online then go directly to the site you booked and there should be a link providing cancellation and covid19 policies.

Consider an intimate wedding ceremony. In instances where the show must go on, consider a private ceremony. If your wedding date has special meaning or you absolutely cannot wait to marry the love of your life, then consider a small marriage ceremony with just the marriage officer and your witnesses. Remember you cannot have more than five people gathering. A gala reception can be held at a later date when social distancing guidelines are lifted.

Cancel orders. If you have ordered personalised tokens, gifts and wedding props with the wedding date on it, then urgently place a stop order and request a refund if possible. Many wedding suppliers are being very understanding in the circumstance and will offer you concessions once the item has not yet been printed or shipped.

The journey ahead won’t be easy but if you seek support from wedding professionals, communicate honestly with your vendors, keep your guests in the loop and enlist the support of your friends and family, you will one day share riveting stories of this time with you children and grandchildren.

It will be well.

Melena Simon-O’Neil, WPIC is the lead wedding and event planner at Emerald Designs and Event Services, and a member of AFETT.