“It is important to be proactive to avoid any breakdown with special needs children,” says Geetanjali Goswami, whose son Vihaan is on the autism spectrum. Children with special needs get used to a certain order and schedule and the lockdown can disrupt their routine and upset them.

The main thing, say some parents, is to keep some sense of the daily routine going. In Vihaan’s case, it is studying for two hours in the morning and running in the evening. Manasa (name changed on request), whose son is also on the autism spectrum, agrees with Geetanjali. “I give my son a specific role: like taking his clothes to the cupboard, cleaning the garden, making the bed or peeling vegetables,” she says. “It is important to be consistent and choose a role that is possible to do and build it up slowly. Encourage the child by celebrating his efforts and saying how clean his room looks. Consistency is the key.”

However Vidya, whose son has cerebral palsy, says the lockdown has had an adverse effect. She is unable to take her son outside for a walk, which was part of his routine. “He is more comfortable doing therapy with the teachers and is not in any mood to work with his parents. Since we have time to give him, we are trying to give him more activities. But it depends on his moods and it is challenging.”

Munira, whose son also has cerebral palsy, suggests developing a clear safety plan for the entire day. “This includes how, when, and where to go.” She also advises practising so that it becomes regular and routine for the child. Her child needs physical, cognitive and speech therapy and she is managing by consulting the therapist via phone calls. “I spend 40 minutes in evening on this and, in the morning, he spends time helping me with all my household duties.”

Manasa points out that many children need regular occupational and sensory integration to go about their day. “Our teachers have helped us include many activities on a regular basis at home like sand play, kneading dough, crawling, blowing, eating crunchy foods, giving different tastes and textures, sucking, and massages around mouth.” She feels parents should set aside 20 minutes a day to work on the special education that the child was working on in school.

While Vihaan’s counselling sessions continue via Skype, Geetanjali diverts his anxiety by asking him to help in household tasks, which helps him stay calm. “Most important is that I keep my routine of the day so that Vihaan can perform his tasks at the same time.” She also uses the ELSA (Emotional Literary Support Assistants) support site that helps Vihaan address his feelings.” Talking to friends and relatives he connects with and a daily specific time to talk to her about his doubts, feelings and frustrations are other measures she has put in place. “Before going to bed in the night, I tell him what household task he will be supporting me with the next day.”

All of them stress the need for the family to remain calm, as “the children have radars that can pick up emotional distress in anyone. It is important for the whole family to practise being relaxed in such stressful times,” says Manasa. Geetanjali finishes most of her work before Vihaan wakes up and also takes time to read, do handwork and get a nap. Both of them also stress the need to keep in touch with others. Geetanjali reaches out to her friends for emotional support while Manasa says, “parents and teachers form our main support in such times. One parent’s idea may help another.” The final word comes from Munira: “Trust your instincts. Don’t be afraid to fight for your child and their needs.”