'It's always scared me': Fallen footy star Ben Cousins reveals the one drug he 'doesn't trust' himself to take – and why he refuses to shave his beard
- Former AFL star Ben Cousins has opened up on meth addiction and time in jail
- 'Coming Clean' follows Cousins fall from grace and recovery against his demons
- Cousins said in a candid admission he would 'probably go over' if he took heroin
- 'I don't trust myself because... I don't stop, it's always scared me a bit,' he said
- Cousins also said in light-hearted segment he wanted to see out growing beard
AFL star Ben Cousins has revealed he does not trust himself to take heroin and fears he would 'probably go over' if he took the drug.
In unaired excerpts of his 'Coming Clean' interview with Channel Seven, Cousins also said he is yet to shave off his beard because he wants to see through the process of growing it out.
But opening up on his drug addiction, homelessness and time in prison, the ex-West Coast Eagle said he could not promise he would stay out of jail.
Cousins leaving Armadale Magistrates Court in Perth in 2016 while charged with breaching a restraining order. The ex-footy star has said he cannot promise to stay out of jail
Cousins, 41, said while he preferred methamphetamine and cocaine, he was 'scared' at what heroin would do to him even though he did think about using it.
'I wish I could get on the heroin and just f***ing cruise through this next six months,' he said.
'It would help but it makes me feel a bit squirmish in the stomach. I also don't trust myself because I'd probably go over, you know, I don't stop, it's just always scared me a bit.'
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Cousins said instead of meth he uses dextroamphetamine, medication often used for those with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
In a stunning admission in the newly released discussion given to The West Australian, he said he may have 'killed my mum' if it weren't for dextroamphetamine.
'I just thank the Lord that I've got it. I would have probably killed my mum, you know,' he said.
He would not reveal though the last time he had relapsed into drug use.
Cousins (pictured in Channel Seven interview) said he uses dextroamphetamine, medication often used for those with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, as a substitute for meth
When talk turned to the more humorous topic of his increasingly long beard, Cousins said he planned to let it grow out properly before cutting it off.
But he added he had let down his son Bobby, eight, by letting it grow.
'I've probably let my boy down because I have run with a beard for a long time,' he said.
'I was supposed to cut my hair all off for Bobby's birthday and the time came around and it didn't happen - he's a bit dirty about it and I'm going to make sure he's around when I do cut it off.'
Cousins (pictured with former partner Maylea Tinecheff) has broken his silence about his downfall
Ben Cousins has reflected on his meth addiction and jail time in the explosive new documentary 'Coming Clean'. Pictured playing for the Richmond Tigers in 2010
In his 'Coming Clean' interview, Cousins also reflected on how his life has changed since being one of the best players ever to grace an Australian Rules footy field.
'I've stuffed things up royally,' he said.
The interview featured a lengthy discussion with Basil Zempilas, where the 41-year-old opened up on his recovery process and his fight against his demons.
Cousins and his family approached the Seven network for the interview as an important step in Cousins recovery and rehabilitation.
The 238-game veteran wasn't paid for the appearance, the first time he has spoken out on his personal troubles in a decade since his raw 2010 film 'Such Is Life'.
'I'm a drug addict, just flat-out. Yeah, I was drug-f**ked,' Cousins said in 2010.
Ben Cousins was seen giving the thumps up with West Coast Eagles player Nic Naitanui earlier this month
Ben Cousins was once one of the biggest superstars in the AFL before his dramatic downfall
Cousins's career started to plummet in a downwards spiral in 2007, where he was administered into a drug rehab facility in the U.S. and was later charged with drug offences.
After the charges were dropped, Cousins was sacked from the Eagles and banned from AFL for a year.
In 2009 he was re-signed by the Richmond Tigers but retired a year later and released a documentary detailing his struggles, 'Such is Life: The Troubled Times of Ben Cousins'.
In the ten years since ending his football career, Cousins found himself in and out of court over drug offences.
In January 2018, Cousins was released from prison after serving 10 months of the one-year sentence for breaching a restraining order taken out by his former partner Maylea Tinecheff.
Cousins spent two stints behind bars after being charged with drug possession in 2017 and 2018
He was offered a job working with his former club the West Coast Eagles in a 'community and game development' role but left the role within months after reportedly failing to turn up for work on multiple occasions.
Cousins was back in jail months later following charges of drug possession, making threats and breaking a violence restraining order.
He spent eight months in jail until his release on bail last April.
Cousins was in March fined $1,750 for possessing meth and hiding it up his anus.
Cousins booted 205 goals for the West Coast Eagles, where he won a premiership with the club in 2006.
The Richmond Tigers gave Cousins a second chance in 2009 after his one-year ban, where he played 32 more games and 12 more goals before he retired in 2010.
'I'll always regret what I've put my family through. There's a lot of shame and regret. People wonder why I haven't broken down or shed a tear (in public). My tears are something that I hold close to me; they're for me and my family,' Cousins said at his retirement announcement.
THE TROUBLED LIFE AND TIMES OF BEN COUSINS:
1996 - Makes AFL debut with West Coast and is named the league's Rising Star
2001 - Named club captain of West Coast at age 23
2002 - Breaks his arm falling down a flight of stairs at a nightclub months after punching his teammate Daniel Kerr
2005 - (May) Is quizzed by police about association with underworld identities
- (September) Wins Brownlow medal as the AFL's best and fairest player
Cousins after the 2006 AFL Grand Final
2006 - (February) Swims across a Perth river to escape a booze bus
- (September) Wins AFL premiership with the Eagles
- (December) Is arrested after passing out in front of Melbourne's Crown Casino and spends four hours in jail
2007 - (March) Suspended by West Coast after missing training session
- (April) Goes to a drug rehabilitation facility in the US
- (October) Revealed to have visited fellow Eagles legend Chris Mainwaring twice on the night he died of a drug overdose
- (October) Arrested and charged with drug offences that are later dropped
- (November) Eventually sacked by West Coast and banned from the AFL for one year
2008 - AFL re-registers Cousins and he is signed by Richmond
2010 - Retires from the AFL but releases autobiography and documentary
Cousins has been charged with drug possession and refusing a drug test in 2007, but the charges were later dropped
2015 - Arrested three times before leading police on a slow-speed car chase
2016 - (June) Spotted behaving erratically and directing traffic on a highway
- (October) In and out of court over drug offences and breaches a restraining order taken out by his ex-partner
2017 - Jailed for one year for breaching restraining order by calling his ex-lover thousands of times
2018 - (January) Released from jail on parole just 10 months into his sentence
He takes up a community support role with the West Coast Eagles - a requirement of his parole conditions
- (May): Reports emerge he hasn't been seen at the club for a month
The club confirms the he told officials in April he no longer wanted the job
- (August) Arrested and charged with drug possession and breaching a restraining order
2019 - (February) He was fined $1,750 for possessing meth and hiding it up his anus while in jail
(March) Cousins pleaded not guilty to 14 offences in court, including breaching a family violence restraining order and a count each of aggravated stalking and threatening to injure, endanger or harm
(April) Cousins is released from jail on bail after eight months inside.
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