Born This Way

It is said — if you love someone, don’t try to change them. But what if someone you love doesn’t fit into your concept of ‘normal’? Boy Erased, a biographical drama based on LGBTQ+ activist Garrard Conley’s memoir of the same name, deals with the important issue of how far parents will go to try and change their kid’s sexual orientation to what fits into their heterosexual mindsets. 

Starring Lucas Hedges, Nicole Kidman, Russell Crowe, and Edgerton, the film revolves around the life and experiences of a son of Baptist parents, who is coerced into gay conversion therapy program, and will be shown on Sony PIX this week. We speak to Indian LGBTQ+ activists Manvendra Singh Gohil and Anwesh Sahoo to find out how the film throws light on sensitive topics for the community and why it is a must-watch for every household in the country.

On coming out
Coming out is an extremely private and sensitive affair for a member of the LGBTQ+ community. Short for ‘coming out of the closet’, it is when a person announces their sexual orientation to their friends, family and acquaintances.

“I was at a diversity and inclusion event recently and a person there spoke about how he was outed in his workplace, without his consent, by one of his colleagues who did not even realise what he was doing. I completely understand why some people choose to be closeted because there is a difference in the way people treat you when you come out. You become a gay individual and there is nothing more to you than your sexualty. But you want to be celebrated for your talent and skillset at your workplace,” says Sahoo, adding that nowadays, people are learning to deal with these issues with sensitivity.  

Gohil, the first openly gay prince in the world, belongs to the Rajpipla royal family. He says, “I think the film brilliantly showcases the struggles in a gay person’s day to day life, like coming out to their friends and family. This is a big deal, specially when you come from a very orthodox, conservative background.”

Conversion therapy is a sham
The protagonist in the film is the son of a pastor. Gohil points out that this also throws light on the important role that religion plays in these issues. “My parents also couldn’t accept that I can be gay because I belonged to a royal family. They equated being gay with being uncultured or uneducated, and tried to covert me by taking me to see a doctor because they thought it was some disease or a mental disorder.

Conversion therapies happen in many different ways, including inhuman and cruel methods such as shock therapy. But the parents are under such pressure about their reputation in society that they are willing to go to any lengths to convert their gay child. This is because our education system doesn’t even talk about sex, leave along talking about homosexuality, sexual orientation and so on,” says Gohil, adding that such conversion therapies are obviously scams aimed at vulnerable people. 

Sahoo recalls how some of his friends had to endure corrective rape to convert them from homosexuality. “You don’t realise that all these horrible things are happening unless it happens to people close to you. But thankfully, now people are changing their mindsets. When activists like me come out and speak about their experiences, it encourages people to put their foot down and say, ‘I won’t let my parents or anyone else do anything wrong like this to me’,” says he. 

Gohil talks about organisations and associations that have been formed by parents who have acepted their children. “Sweekar is an association of mothers, fathers, grandparents, uncles, aunts, who accepted their kids and love them for what they are. They voluntarily go to other families and talk to them about celebrating their child for who they are,” says he. 

Looking ahead
Gohil believes that there has been a definite progress in the way the LBGTQ+ community is placed in society, but we still have a long way to go. “There has been a change in the understanding of the general population in the last decade because so much is being talked about the LGBTQ+ community. I think the conversation sparked off in 2009, when the high court first made a judgement on section 377. Before that, the community was poorly represented by the media everywhere. But of late, the media has been presenting stories about the community in a positive manner, even the regional newspapers,” says he. 

Sahoo feels that the conversation about the LGBTQ+ community has moved from acceptance to inclusion. “Now we’re talking about inclusivity, belongingness, and demanding to be treated like equals with a goal to move towards to a labeless world. Your neighbour could be a gay person who is also a gym trainer or a brain surgeon, their sexual orientation shouldn’t be the only thing that defines them in society,” says he. 

ST Reader Service
Watch Boy Erased on February 18, 7 pm and February 21 at 8 am only on Sony PIX