How to handle a long distance relationship: Sex expert reveals the six ways to make it work - and the red flags that you're wasting your time
- Dr Nikki Goldstein has outlined some key ways to make your relationship last
- She said try to maintain a genuine connection through technology like FaceTime
- Putting them first and setting short and long term goals will help build a future
A sex and relationship expert has revealed how you can make a long-distance relationship last - and the red flags that you might be wasting your time.
Maintaining a relationship with a person in a different state or even a separate country can be challenging, but having an intimate relationship is far from impossible according to sexologist and relationship expert Dr Nikki Goldstein.
Each relationship will be different but Dr Nikki said there are some pointers that apply to all.
So what should you be doing?
Relationship expert Dr Nikki Goldstein revealed how to make a long-distance relationship last - and the red flags that it won't work (stock image)
1. Put in the effort
'The way to have a healthy long-distance relationship is to continue to put the effort in like you would back home,' Dr Nikki told FEMAIL.
She said interactions with your partner should be about trying to keep as much of a connection as possible.
'FaceTime is much better than phone conversations you can see what is really going on and you will be able to communicate with them,' she said.
She said even smaller actions done frequently can go a long way.
'Take photos all the time and share them with your partner to give them an insight into you life,' she said.
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'It's as simple as:"Hey look what I'm eating" or if you are picking out a shirt going "hey babe which one do you like better?"
'It's that involvement in each others lives if you don’t have, it will feel like less of a relationship and more of a romantic pen pal,' she said.
Australian sexologist and relationship expert Dr Nikki Goldstein (pictured) like you should try not to overanalyze how you feel once you move apart
2. Be prepared for ups and downs
Dr Nikki said that like any relationship there are going to be ups and downs, and you shouldn't over-analyse how you feel.
She said everyone responds differently and sometimes people's own reactions will scare them.
'Sometimes being away from a person can really make you want to be with that person even more while others get frightened they will loose connection with their partner,' she said.
'If you can function without them don’t freak out, if you think you could go on without them don’t freak out – its about whether you want them or not.
'Let yourself think: I'm going to enjoy eating in the bed and lazing around without feeling like it has a deeper meaning,' she said.
Ms Goldstein said that like any relationship there are going to be ups and downs and to not overanalyze feelings of insecurity or enjoying having time to yourself (stock image)
3. Make them feel like a priority
The relationship expert said putting your partner first will help them feel valued when you aren't there to spoil them.
'Actions speak louder than words, first thing in the morning when you wake up and send them a message send them a photo with bed hair,' she said.
'If you are saying sorry I can't talk I'm busy with work you are saying to them they aren't a priory.
The relationship expert said at you need to organise to be together in both the short and long term future (stock image)
4. Make long term goals and short term plans
'You need, at some point, a goal to get to the same location,' she said.
The relationship expert said to make sure that you weren't 'jumping the gun' with your proposals of engagement or marriage if you are still early on in your relationship.
Shorter term plans such as organising a weekend you will come over, no matter how far off, will help you feel like there is less time until you see them.
5. Staying faithful
Dr Nikki said if you feel like your partner is hiding things or they frequently seem to disappear from communication it could be a red flags for a dwindling relationship.
She said in these tough times it is important that each person takes responsibility for how they interact with others.
'We all crave as human beings human affection and touch, and it’s only natural you want that,' she said.
'If you feel like you can't tell your partner about having a drink with a co-worker for example, it's a good sign you need to self-analysis what you are really doing.'
She said if these feelings arise, attempt to arrange a closer time to see your partner or even invest in a pet to keep you company.
6. Physical intimacy
Sex and physical intimacy is a fairly hopeless part of a long-distance relationships but Dr Nikki said there are still ways you can feel connected.
'I think the biggest point is you have to use technology to try and get that connection,' she said.
While Skype can be a great tool she said there are other communicative sex products available for those who are brave enough.
'You can still be together you can’t physically touch but it doesn’t mean you can’t be intimate together,' she said.
