At this point I learnt that no, he hadn’t been a swaggering douche who’d loomed over the driver-side window to try intimidate my wife. Like anyone could do that, anyway.

Nope. He was just a young guy, out with his girlfriend, or maybe just a friend who was, you know, a young lady of the opposite sex, and having no clouds to yell at or dissolute youths to chase off my lawn… I gave him the finger.

Because he leaned in to give her a thumbs up. Like, just keep driving, lady. I’ll wait here while you complete your exit from the building and for good measure I will encourage you in the pursuit of your already excellent road skills with this very supportive thumbs-up gesture.

Probably explains the look of deep confusion and hurt when I flipped him the bird.

I am ashamed, reader. Deeply ashamed.

If that kid is reading this, or if you know of a traumatised young fellow who now twitches and stutters whenever he approaches the exit to underground car parks, I offer my sincere apologies.
I was wrong.

I felt wrong and guilty all the way home and I still feel it now.

A lot of the sorrow of the world grows from stupid, unthinking reactions by idiot blokes who think themselves entirely in the right when they are completely in the wrong.

I probably can’t find that kid to offer my personal mea culpa, but I can try to learn from being such a douchenozzle towards him.

I’ll offer my lesson to anyone who’s of a mind to listen. The next time I feel like escalating a confrontation, no matter how justified I might feel in that escalation, I reckon I might just give it a few seconds, let's say enough time to take three deep breaths, before I dive head-first into the shallow end of the moron pool.

Sorry, kid.