If you are a parent of a toddler or preschooler, we feel you. We know how stressful and tiring it can get because your little one is now gradually learning to regular his emotions in an independent manner. And we as parents are struggling to learn the right balance between being warm and firm (read: strict).
Most of the times parents feel guilty after scolding their little one, because the feeling that they are still figuring out things play out in their minds. Thus, making them feel clueless on how to respond to their child's growing challenging behaviour.
TIME OUT is one strategy we all have heard and dismissed - it seems misused and misunderstood and has many conflicting views.
However, experts believe that the technique can be useful for kids between the age of 2 to 8 years, provided it is fully understood by both parties and is pre-planned.
Explaining the theory, we all know that to a growing child, his parent's attention means the world to him - it doesn't matter if it is a strict glare or a loving hug, that attention is important for them.
Now imagine a child misbehaving and getting all your attention - 'Why did you do that?', 'I told you last time too not to do that', it is giving him the much needed attention and he might do it again. This may not be the case with positive behaviour - because parents tend to take that as a regular thing. This is where Time out can turn things around in their head.
When you use the Time out technique, make sure it is deliberate, to-the-point and involves withdrawal of your attention - when a child behaves in a certain way despite being given clear instructions. But make sure the child also understands why you are doing it. If the information is not clear, and developmentally accurate and appropriate, the entire purpose of Time Out will fail.
For example, you can dedicate a chair as Time Out chair/spot. So if the child is not putting the toy back in its box, tell him if he doesn't comply, he will have to go to the time out chair. Wait for a few seconds, then clearly tell them to stay in the Time Out zone until you ask them to get off. After 3-4 minutes, instruct the child to put the toy back. Once they do it, reconnect with them and give them attention. And if they don't, start the Time Out again.
You also need to be prepared with a response if the child refuses to go to the Time Out spot. You can gently guide them to the chair. For kids who are older than 6, you can warn them of no screen time or loss of other privileges until they finish their Time out.
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