BENGALURU: The first thing I ever learnt about the rains was a class-full of kids asking the rains to go away. The second was that the school would be closed on account of a ‘rainy day’. Thanks to the mixed signals, I have always nurtured mixed feelings about the rains.

It didn’t help that I grew up in Odisha, a state that has a long history of floods and powercuts. Heavy rains were always met with apprehension and fear in my house, especially from the older generation.
The first rumble of thunder and my grandmother would launch into a tirade of prayers at the heavens, at once pleading with and complaining to the gods about the impending end of the world. While I enjoyed the unannounced holidays that came with the rains, I never understood the unnecessary romanticisation of the rains in our movies.

Love blossoms in the rains, children are born after a night of heavy rainfall, and the hero meets his long- lost mother on a dark, stormy, rainy night.I have come to realise that rain might come out from the clouds as the purest form of water but in reality, it affects people in different ways. If you’re rich, for example, the rains are beautiful and romantic. As you watch the rains from inside your car, you see dewdrops forming on your car window and everything around you gleaming like a new carwash. If you’re sitting in the balcony of your lake- view apartment, you can relish the smell of rains.

But if you’re middle-class like me, you’ll find that the rains are nothing but trouble. If you’re riding a two-wheeler, you’ll find the rainwater has a way of entering your clothes even if you’re wearing an Eskimo suit. In a few minutes, your suit is wet, your clothes are wet, your socks are soggy and your soul is dripping with sorrow. If you’re middle class, you’ll find that you’re forced to not only experience the smell of rains, but also the feel, smell and taste of the rains in your system.

My biggest problem with the rains though, is the proliferation of mosquitoes. Come the rains, and mosquitoes crash my house for a rave party. I find a bunch of them swooping around in joy in my kitchen, the smokers hanging around in the bathroom, and the tired ones chilling in the balcony.As human beings, we may have sent people to the moon, explored the depths of the deepest oceans, and climbed the highest peaks. But our biggest failure is that we haven’t been able to control the spread of mosquitoes.And it’s not for lack of trying. We first experimented with the humble mosquito repellent creams that had a smell so strong it repelled human beings too. Change is the real constant. The other real constant, are mosquitoes.

We then moved on to mosquito coils. Those circular objects that left a scar on the floor and a head full of your worst nightmares. For a brief while, we experimented with mosquito mats that scared children more than the mosquitoes.

We then got mosquito liquid machines with promising names. All Out, they claimed, only to realise it was a Test match with unlimited innings. Good Night, they wished us, only to wake up to news of innovations in the mosquito world, like chikungunya and dengue. We must accept defeat to the mosquitoes. Maybe we are not the greatest species on earth.So all these years, I still go back to the first poem I ever learnt. Rain, rain go away. Little Johnny wants to stay alive.

The author is a writer and comedian.