‘I am slowly becoming detached from my family’

I know it’s weird and some may even label me selfish but I have to admit that I am slowly becoming detached from my family (they live in another city), especially my parents. I didn’t have any major arguments with them nor did they do anything specific to hurt me, but I am just drifting away from them with each passing day. I do visit my family once a year, and we are like this cute happy family together during that time. Even otherwise, we talk to each other on a daily basis, but something in me has changed, because of which I don’t feel a sense of belonging. I feel lost and lonely, and often dejected. Often in my dreams, I am transported to my childhood days when my parents left me with my grandparents and moved to a different city to pursue their careers. I don’t know if that is still subconsciously playing on my mind. Am I acting childish and immature? I don’t know how to deal with this feeling? It didn’t feel this way a few years ago.

Looks like your folks had a house full of kids. And it’s quite understandable why they wanted to get away from all the madness. Kids can be mean, difficult, loud and too much to handle sometimes. That is why couples need to figure out a whole lot of things before they start making babies. 

But even though they weren’t physically around as much, and I’m not saying this isn’t as important to be, did they manage to make sure that you kids had a proper education, healthy meals, healthcare, a safe home, and everything else you needed? If yes, then they’ve done their best they could at being parents. 

Since they’ve always distanced themselves from you, there must be a reason why you feel detached to them only now. Like you mentioned, are you mad because they visit your other siblings and relatives more often than they come to you? Well, then you are being childish. But you know what, you are their child, and it’s perfectly normal for you to feel that way. You need to dig deeper and find out what has really ticked you off this time. Did you expect them to spend more time with you? It seems like you do. But you don’t want to tell them that, and instead want them to magically read your mind? My girl, even if they did create you, they can’t figure out what’s going on in your head unless you use words and tell them. So express your childish complaints in a grown-up way and speak to them about it. 

Whether you feel like you belong or not, you are a part of that family. The bottom line is that you guys are united by DNA. Which means that you all are more similar than you realise. Communication can solve most of your problems.