Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
My best friend was married a few years ago and has been estranged from her husband for a while. I was married a year after her, and my marriage has also not been going very well lately. We met a month ago and spoke about how these things are making life difficult for us and she suggested that we have a physical relationship. I didn't agree with her at the time, but I have been thinking about it a lot. If our marriages have failed, what stops us from being together physically? It may help us deal with this better and find some comfort. We are definitely attracted to each other, so I don't have a problem with taking this step. At the same time, a part of me feels guilty about this because it feels as if I am cheating on my wife. What should I do?
Having a difficult marriage and cheating on a partner are two separate things. If you feel guilty, it is because you are aware of the fact that you are cheating. You can't sugar-coat it by referring to your troubled marriage, because the fact remains that you are still married, as is your friend. It's normal to be tempted by a physical relationship when things aren't working out, of course, because we are only human. Having said that, it makes sense to take this sort of step only when there is no hope of saving your current relationship, in which case it is also fair that you end your marriage before committing to anything else. Your best friend may want to think about this too, because this involves people apart from the two of you. There are consequences to adultery, apart from legal ones, that may be hard to control, so I suggest you think about them all very carefully and ask your friend to do the same. To get into a dubious relationship while trying to work on one is a recipe for disaster, any way you look at it.
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