Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age

I have been trying to get rid of a colleague’s unwanted advances for a long time now. I have told him repeatedly that I am not interested, and blocked him on all social media platforms, but he still sends me annoying notes at work and assumes I will change my mind. He isn’t threatening in any way, but this still makes me angry at times because he doesn’t seem to get the message that I don’t want him at all. Should I make an official complaint or just ignore him until he goes away?
Your colleague seems to assume he is playing a role in an awful Bollywood movie. The Hindi film industry has long legitimised the ridiculous notion that women are incapable of making up their own minds, which is probably why he has the deluded idea that you will someday give him a chance. It doesn’t matter if he is threatening or not, because this is an invasion of your personal space. Save the notes and send him an official email saying this is unacceptable. Tell him you have no option but to report his behaviour. If he crosses a line, do not hesitate to consider legal action.

My friend is a great guy, but is always homophobic. He knows I am gay, and that his comments hurt me, but this doesn’t stop him from sending me insensitive comments about the gay community or jokes that only hurt me. How do I change it?
Homophobia is often a result of how millions of us are raised with prejudice instead of understanding. Your friend needs to be educated rather than chastised, because he simply doesn’t know better. Give him an opportunity to understand the community. If he doesn’t acknowledge this, and continues despite knowing how his comments hurt you, he is not a true friend at all.

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