My BF has a paid dating app subscription

Question: I met my boyfriend on a dating app and we have been in a relationship for seven months. It is not a casual relationship and if everything goes well, I would like to consider marrying him one day. But from the first day of our relationships, he has been using the dating app. He says he likes talking to strangers and knowing their stories. Recently, he took the paid subscription so that he can get more matches. How should I deal with his situation? - By Anonymous

Response by Ms. Rachana Awatramani: Nowadays, many people use dating apps for various reasons. Some use it for casual dating, some use it to find love and some use it to build friendships. However, it is a very personal choice and decision. If you use a dating app, you know that there are other options available. Therefore, some people take time to commit and continue to explore on various apps till the time they feel content.


I comprehend that you have been dating someone you found on a dating app. You mentioned that it is not a casual relationship but your boyfriend is using the dating app and also subscribed to a paid membership. I understand that you are feeling confused and his actions make you insecure. I see that you have made efforts to understand his behaviour and have asked him why he still continues to use the app. He has stated that he likes to chat with new people and know their stories, which can be true as he has been on the dating app since day one of your relationship.


I would recommend that you reflect on your feelings and understand what exactly you are looking from this bond. A relationship is a long-term commitment and it is also about trusting your partner. If you feel insecure, you can discuss about your feelings with him. It will also be helpful to meet a relationship counsellor if you seriously want to take this relationship forward. You both can discuss your expectations and work on building trust with each other. This can also involve creating certain boundaries which can be decided mutually.


- Ms. Rachana Awatramani is a Counseling Psychologist at Insight Counseling Services in Mumbai


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