In these tribal villages, grooms stay away from their own weddings!

Vadodara: Pravin Rathwa, a cop deployed at Naswadi police station in Chhota Udepur, began a new chapter of his life — as a married man — on Wednesday, but in absentia! Why? As tradition mandates so, Rathwa stayed back at his home in Surkheda village of Chhota Udepur district, while his sister Rekha played the groom’s role and tied the nuptial knots with Leela Rathwa, a native of Haludi village of Madhya Pradesh!
Decked as a ‘groom’ albeit with ‘mehendi’ in her hands and silver ornaments all on her body, Rekha was the one who exchanged marriage vows with the bride. Pravin, who has been working as a Lok Rakshak Dal personnel for the past two years, had little say in the matter — he was simply towing the line that his ancestors had decided upon ages ago.
A quaint tradition thrives in three Chhota Udepur villages of Surkheda, Ambala and Sanada, located close to each other. In this, a groom cannot attend his own marriage and and his unmarried sister or any unmarried woman from his family should represent him in the ceremonies as the groom. The groom stays at his own home with his mother.
Locals say that the tradition has been practised since generations as a means of veneration of their unmarried villages deities. “According to folklore, our deity Bharmadev was engaged in getting the other gods get married. So, he remained unmarried. In order to show him respect, grooms of the village do not attend their own weddings,” explained sarpanch of Ambala village Vechan Rathwa.
Recently Vechan’s nephew Ghulam Rathwa also got married to Ramila Rathwa in a similar way.
When the bride reaches the groom’s house after the wedding, a small ceremony is performed again to solemnize their marriage. “It is just a small ceremony, but the main wedding ceremony takes place between the bride and groom’s sister,” said Ramsinh Rathwa, sarpanch of Surkheda village. Ramsinh said that their local deity Ishpalyadev also remained unmarried.
At Ambala village, however, it is not just folklore, but superstitions also play a role in keeping the old tradition alive. Vechan said that around 25-30 years ago, two educated youth refused to follow the tradition and took out procession and attended their wedding ceremonies. “The two men died within a short span after their weddings and it is believed that their actions irked the local deity which even claimed their lives,” Vechan added.
Sanada village’s Gen Next, However, are a mixed lot — some follow the age-old traditions and stay unharmed, others prefer to take chances. “A large section of the new generation refuses to believe in the traditions and attend their wedding ceremonies,” said Kishore Rathwa, sarpanch of Sanada village.