Toddlers in NCR pubs: Necessity for parents or killjoy for others?

While those against bringing kids to pubs with loud music and alcohol say not only is it stressful for a child, it also ruins the night for others, parents ask where are they supposed to leave their kids if they want to go out.
Blaring music, dim lighting and flashes of laser lights – this might sound like the perfect setting for a party, but the loud music and lights are certainly not things you would want to subject a kid to. But despite that, spotting a toddler accompanying his/her parents isn’t an unusual sight in Delhi’s clubs and bars. However, club owners are in a dilemma over whether they should allow parents to bring along young kids. Even parents seem to be divided on the issue, while some feel that young parents in nuclear families have no other option, others say that places with loud music that serve liquor is not the right environment for kids.
‘Have seen kids getting cranky because of loud music, but parents still get them along’
“Are kids allowed?” Lounges and pubs in NCR often get this query, not just from guests with kids, but even others. “Who would want to dance with kids on the dance floor after having two drinks?” asks 27-year-old Vishant Vashisht, a resident of South Delhi. “I went out with my girlfriend for her birthday dinner and wanted to have a dance with her. I requested the DJ for a special song, but to my surprise, there were two kids dancing alongside and their parents were taking a video. I have nothing against kids, but I strongly feel they should be taken to family restaurants and not lounges and bars,” he says.
Others say that nothing spoils a night-out experience more than a wailing kid in the next table. “At present, there are no pubs or lounges serving hookah, but earlier, when they were allowed, I used to judge parents bringing toddlers to places that served sheesha. They had loud music and people smoking and drinking. There are no hookahs now, but the music in any pub or club is too loud for toddlers. The kids aren’t used to loud music and they become cranky and start bawling. Recently, I was at a lounge in CP and I had to leave the place as there was a baby in the next table who wouldn’t stop crying and there was no other empty table at the lounge,” says Rashi Rana, a 29-year-old engineer, who is a resident of Dwarka and works in Gurgaon.

‘Where should we leave our kids if we have to go out?’, ask parents
Most parents say that usually they don’t have any other choice but to bring their kids along when going out. “We have no one to leave our kid with,” says Shilpa Wahi, a working mother from Sector 50, Gurgaon, who often has to take her three-year-old son with her when she and her husband go out to dine. “We try to get him to fall asleep and choose to sit in an area that doesn’t have loud music. But we can’t stop exploring new places or going out just because we have a kid. We have tried looking for nanny who could watch over him for a few hours while we are out, but no one is willing to do that at night. Also, even if you request relatives or neighbours to watch over your kid, then you are judged as a parent for leaving your kid behind to go partying,” she adds.
Shweta Sharma, another working mother who stays in Greater Kailash I, says that apart from nightclubs, she doesn’t mind taking her five-year-old daughter to any restaurant or lounge. “You can’t really leave your kid behind with a nanny in the night and go out to party. We respect club rules and there have been cases when we have been told that kids are not allowed and we have returned,” she said.
However, there are also parents who argue against taking kids to places that serve alcohol and have loud music and say they would rather give up partying for a few years than to take kids to such places. “One reason I only take my three-year-old to family restaurants is that I want my child to enjoy. Kids do not like loud music and they get cranky and disturb other guests also, why create so much drama,” says Vinit Bhatia, a 32-year-old who lives in Panchsheel Park.

We strictly advise people not to bring kids for dinner: Lounge and pub owners
While most lounges in Delhi and Gurgaon allow kids, there are a few that do not allow kids’ entry in the evening, citing loud music and the crowd. “I have even turned down reservations from my business partners who wanted to bring their kids on weekends. I have explained to them that on weekends, the place gets crowded, drinks are served and the music is too loud for kids. We do not want to have children in such an environment. Kids are welcome on weekdays and during lunch hour, when the restaurant isn’t very crowded,” says restaurateur Dinesh Arora, who owns Unplugged Courtyard in Delhi and Gurgaon.
Restaurateur Priyank Sukhija, who owns Lord of the Drinks in Connaught Place and Lord of the Drinks Barrel House at Sector 29, Gurgaon, says that till a few years ago, people would often argue when denied entry because of kids, but now, most young parents understand if they are told about the pub’s policy to not have kids as guests. “We do not allow kids during dinner as we know that most orders will be for alcohol and the music will be loud and that’s not an appropriate environment for toddlers. Most parents ask in advance if kids are allowed. Those who are told at the entrance that they are not, usually cooperate. But yes, we do have cases where guests try and threaten us with poor ratings just because we didn’t allow their kids entry,” says Priyank.
Varun Puri, who owns Duty Free Vayu Bar at Sector 29, Gurgaon, and Duty Free Bar at Rajouri Garden, Delhi, adds that compared to Delhi, Gurgaon parents are much more understanding and cooperative when they are told that kids are not allowed. “We have never had a case in Gurgaon when parents have argued over a kid’s entry, but we sometimes have to face such guests in Delhi,” says Varun.

Going to pubs adversely affects kids: parenting Experts
Sushant Kalra, founder of a parenting institute in Delhi, tells us, “There are adverse effects on kids who are exposed to pubs at an early age, which manifest later in life. They will correspond ‘having fun’ with liquor and going to pubs. Also, when they would turn 11 or 12, they would become more inquisitive and would want to go out and party like their parents. The chances of them wanting to try alcohol will also increase.” He adds, “Parents should find ways where both the child and they can spend time together rather than party at a place which is not made for kids.”
– With inputs from Ashni.Dhaor@timesgroup.com