My 8-year-old gossips with her friends!

QUERY: How can I prevent my child from gossiping? My daughter is 8 years old and I see girls in her group gossiping about other kids. I find it really terrible. Help!
EXPERT: Gossiping involves talking about someone else behind their back. It also involves exaggeration, distortion and magnification of facts, and could be a time consuming exercise. People who usually lack ability to assert and convey their feeling upright to the concerned person, tend to gossip.

Ample unstructured time, lack of assertiveness skills, low self esteem, lack of constructive hobbies/interests can predispose one to engage in gossip. As parents we also serve as role models for our children. Our behaviours do have an influence on them. Explain to your daughter as to what would she feel if someone gossips about her. This shall help in developing empathy.

Also try to engage her in constructive hobbies and structured activity schedule. This shall help her in redefining meaning to her life. It shall also help her to utilize her time more productively and develop a sense of positive self esteem. Your daughter is in an impressionable age of development. Her personality is yet to take form. Positive measures, as suggested , should be helpful.


Dr. Sameer Malhotra is the Director, Department of Mental Health and Behavioral Sciences, Max Hospitals.