Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age

I had a male friend who used to be very close to me, although I had no real feelings for him beyond our friendship. He suddenly proposed to me one day and I didn't know how to react. I felt protected while I was with him, but later found it difficult to even be his friend. I don't know if he will think of me as his friend again. I like the affection we used to have for each other as friends, but not as a lover. Now, we don't talk anymore. Is there anything I can do to change this?
— Deva
I'm not sure I understand. If your friend has feelings for you, but you don't feel the same way about him, why didn't you talk about it and explain how you felt? How did things change between him telling you this and the two of you not speaking to each other anymore? If you miss him, and want him in your life as a friend rather than a lover, what stops you from telling him this? If he chooses to accept those terms, this awkwardness will pass. If, on the other hand, he finds it hard to accept because his ego has been bruised by your rejection, you may have no choice but to accept this and move on. Awkwardness is common in such situations, but clear communication can prevent it from getting out of hand.

My mother wants me to end my relationship with my girlfriend because she thinks she is a bad influence on me. This is because a neighbour said something nasty about my girlfriend, which my mother now believes is true. What should I do?
Assuming your mother trusts you, why can't you tell her why you believe the neighbour is wrong? Maybe your mother can meet your girlfriend and make up her mind? Either way, it's just a question of time before you get her to see things from your point of view, provided you are patient and honest with her.

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